Page 161 of Built to Fall
Instead, she nods once and says, “There aren’t. And if there were, I’d never ask you to walk into that.” Her voice is steady, but her hands shake a little when she reaches for the bags.
Pulling my wallet out, I grab my credit card and stick it into the reader. By the time I pay and take the receipt, crumpling it inmy hand without looking at the total, Lina’s still standing beside the cart with her arms looped through the plastic bags.
She doesn’t look at me, but I can feel her waiting.
I grab a few of the heavier bags from her and nudge my shoulder into hers gently. “And I’m not trying to sound like an asshole telling you what to do.”
Her eyes glance up to meet mine, hazel eyes sharp but soft at the edges. “You don’t. It’s completely understandable that you wouldn’t want to be around drugs.”
She pushes the cart toward the sliding doors, and I follow, the automatic glass parting as we exit the small-town grocery store. Outside, the air is cooler. I shift the bags in my arms and fall into step beside her.
“I didn’t even know it was still happening,” she says quietly. “With Kara.”
“I know.” I’m sure she wouldn’t have allowed it to happen with her knowledge.
“She’s been off lately, but I thought it was the Jack thing. Not…” Her voice trails off, and I hear the unspoken ending like she said it anyway.Not this.
I don’t tell her I get it. That’s not enough. I’ve heard that phrase too many times, and it’s never made anything easier.
Instead, I say, “If anything ever felt off in your apartment, I hope you’d tell me.”
She glances over, eyebrows pulled tight. “You don’t think I’d lie to you about something like that, do you?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “No, I don’t. I just know how easy it is to not say anything. To think it’s not your place. Or that it’s not a big enough deal.”
Her shoulders relax a little, and when I glance at her again, she’s walking like she’s somewhere else—half in her head, half here.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Not really,” she admits, with no hesitation. “But I will be.”
That’s the thing about Lina. She never pretends to feel something she doesn’t. But she also never lets herselfstaythere too long. I think it has something to do with how she can’t fully discern whether her feelings are rational, so she’d rather ignore them.
She knows her friend is in the wrong, but she also doesn’t know what to do about it.
I walk a few steps in front of her, getting to the car and putting the bags in the trunk before opening the passenger seat for her to get in.
She slides into the seat wordlessly, and I shut the door gently behind her and round the front of the car, climbing in behind the wheel.
The silence in the car makes the click of her seatbelt sound louder than it should as I pull out of the parking lot and head back toward our apartment building.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
GRANT
“Savannah is here,” Lina mentions when we get to the door of her apartment.
She’s struggling to unzip her purse with all of the grocery bags in her arms, and I catch one before it slips out of her grasp. Then I take the rest of them. I’ve caught on to the fact that she’s not very good at accepting help, which is probably why she looks so disarmed.
“That’s fine,” I reply honestly.
I’m not sure how Lina feels about Savannah and me, especially now that the two of them are friends—closefriends. I don’t mind the fact, but I can’t deny the fact that it adds another layer to our relationship, one neither of us has brought up.
When she doesn’t say anything, I add, “Is that okay with you?”
Her nod seems far away, like she’s not quite sure if she believes her answer but knows it’s the right one to give.
I don’t like that shit. I prefer her being thespeaks-her-mindtype of girl. The fact that she’s holding something back for my sake is not a good sign.
