Page 173 of Built to Fall
“What the hell happened while I was gone?” I mutter, more to myself than anyone.
Kara leans back against the kitchen counter and crosses her arms. “Jack and I broke up because he said I was too much. Too intense. Too erratic. And I believed him. Iapologizedfor being hard to love.”
She looks right at Eden again. “And all that time, he was waiting for someone easier.”
“Stop,” Eden whispers, voice cracking. “Please.”
“Don’t beg,” Kara snaps. “It’s pathetic.”
“Okay!” Savannah yells suddenly, stepping between them. “Time-out. Everyone, just—” She spins around like a referee in stilettos. “I’m starting to get the feeling thatsomeoneis going to commit a crime, and I, for one, don’t look good in orange.”
It doesn’t break the tension in the room. In fact, I think the idea of a crime only urges Kara on.
“I’m not even mad about Jack. I wasn’t what he needed, and if you are, thengreat! I wish you, and your white picket fence, and your three kids the best!” Her breathing is erratic, and I’m sure the drugs pumping through her system aren’t the only reason she’s shaking like a leaf. “The issue I have is that you didn’t go behind my back with my ex-boyfriend because you’re in love with him. You did it just to have sex with him and move on. It’s what you do.”
“That’s not fair,” Eden says, barely audible.
“Isn’t it?” Kara fires back. “Because I think it’s a pattern. And the worst part? You wrap it up in this whole sweet-girl, sunshine act. Like you justfell into it.But you don’tfallinto someone else’s bed, Eden. You fuckingcrawl.”
Savannah’s mouth opens like she wants to step in again, but nothing comes out this time. She glances toward me like maybeI’llbe the one to say something helpful. I’m not. My tongue is frozen to the roof of my mouth.
And Eden—Eden looks broken. “There issomuch you don’t know.”
“Oh, really? Well now would be a great time for me to find out, don’t you think?”
It’s like watching a horror movie. You take your hands off your eyes when you think the scary part is over, just for there to be an even more terrifying moment when you finally peek through your fingers.
Is there really something that we don’t know about Eden that would change this situation?
Suddenly, she bursts, “I fell in love with him!”
Her confession ricochets off the walls like a ping-pong ball. One that hits each of us in the face when it comes flying back around. It makes all of us reel back, and nobody can say anything because we want her to continue.
“You think I did this to you, and I know in part that I did. I hurt you, Kara, and I’m so sorry for that. But I need you to understand something. Not as an excuse, but because it’s the only way any of this could make sense.” Her voice is shaky, cracking at the edges.
Kara nods, encouraging her to continue.
“Before I was born, my sister was diagnosed with leukemia. They couldn’t find a donor, so my parents did IVF to make sure I would be a genetic match. They had me in order to save her.”
“Oh mygosh!” Savannah outwardly gasps, slapping her hand over her mouth when she realizes. “You’re a real-life savior sibling?”
“My whole existence was centered around whatever she needed—blood, bone marrow, white blood cells. I wasn’t even allowed to scrape my knee growing up because I always had to be in the perfect condition to help her if need be.”
I don’t think any of us are breathing. Eden glances over at Kara. Her arms are still crossed, jaw locked. But something has changed in her expression. She looks startled and almost guilty.
There was no way she could have known this, though. None of us did.
“I didn’t start seeing Jack to hurt you,” Eden tells her, her blue eyes welling with tears. “And I hate that I was hooking up with guys just to hook up with them. I think it’s because when I came to college, it was the first time in my life where I was trying to make my body feel likemine.”
It’s all starting to make sense.
“But I started seeing Jack, and he made me feel like—like I was a whole person again.Not a vessel or a cure. He made me feel like I could exist outside of someone else’s pain. Like I could be loved for who I already was—not who I was supposed to be.” She pauses, wiping her face. “That’swhy I fell in love with him.Not because he was yours. Not because I was trying to steal anything. But because for the first time, I feel like I’m mine.”
Kara’s eyes are now welling up too, and without a word, she steps forward and pulls Eden strongly into her arms. “I’m sorry,” she whispers into her red hair. “I should have known that you were never trying to hurt me.”
“No, don’t be sorry,” Eden quickly replies. “Iam sorry. I was the one who lied and hid my relationship with Jack like it was some dirty secret. It made it seem like he’s worth less than he is to me. I just didn’t want you to think I was doing it for some arbitrary reason. I was waiting until it felt more serious, but I should have told you from the start.”
“You should have, but I get it.”Theseare Kara Carr’s true colors. Loyal to the bone.
