Page 174 of Built to Fall
There’s a long pause. The kind following a storm, when you’re not sure whether it’s really over.
Eden wipes her tears with the blanket, backing out of Kara’s embrace. The rest of us are standing around, watching it all unfold.
“Are we okay?”
Kara breathes out slowly. “We will be.”
Behind me, Meredith shifts in the doorway. Her arms are crossed too, but her shoulders are more relaxed. Savannah is leaning against the counter, her hand placed on her chest, clutching her expensive cashmere cardigan like she needs to sit down. No one looks okay, but at least the screaming is over.
“I’m sorry I lied. I didn’t mean to drag you all into this,” Eden says to the rest of the room.
“You didn’t drag us,” Meredith says. “We were already here. It’s what happens when four women live together—it’s bound to get messy at some point.”
“Imagine what it’s like living withthirtywomen,” Savannah emphasizes, referencing her sorority house.
The storm has seemingly passed, and within a few minutes, everyone’s spread throughout the kitchen and living room, eating a slice of the leftover baby shower cake I brought home.
When Kara takes a seat at the barstool next to me, I can’t help but be reminded of the first turn of events from this morning. “Don’t think that we’re done with our conversation from earlier,” I tell her.
“I’ll keep it out of the apartment,” is all she says in reply, looking back down at her cake.
I stick my finger under her bra strap that’s visible under her tank top, pulling it up and letting it snap back against her skin. “How about you keep it out of yourbody?”
She winces. “I’m okay, Lina. I promise.”
“It doesn’t matter what you promise me. I know about it now, which means it’s weighing on my conscience." I drop my fork down on my plate, trying not to raise my voice and alert everyone else in the living room. Thankfully,Sex and the Cityis playing at nearly full volume. “If something happens to you because you took a bad pill off the street, I wouldneverforgive myself, Kara.”
Grantwould never forgive me either.
“I wouldn’t let it get that far,” she whispers.
“Do you think anyoneletsit get that far? Italwaysstarts this way,” I say gently. “It’s just one time until it’s not. You’re the smartest person I know, Kara. Don’t be stupid about this.”
She exhales, slow and heavy. “I didn’t think anyone would notice.”
“Well, I did.” I reach out and nudge her plate of cake closer. “And I’m not going to un-notice it.”
She picks up her fork, just to give her hands something to do. “You’re not going to tell Grant, are you?”
“I’m not planning to.” I pause. “But I will if I think I have to.”
That makes her flinch more than the bra strap did. She knows I’m being serious. I won’t sit and watch another important person in my life be taken from me. I can’t do it.
“I’ll get rid of it,” she says. “When I find it, I’ll trash it.”
I don’t thank her. This is more for her than it is for me. I hook my arm around her shoulder, leaning in close. “Good, because you’re too brilliant to let something like this be your downfall.”
She reaches for her water bottle and takes a long sip, like she’s trying to swallow the weight of everything that’s happened in the last hour.
Then, she leans into me. “Thank you.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
LINA
Afew weeks ago while Grant was watching game tape, I offhandedly mentioned that I could throw an amazing spiral.
I’m not saying he didn’t believe me, because he’s never that quick to underestimate me, but he did seem skeptical.
