Page 194 of Built to Fall
“What thefuckdid you bring into my house, Kara?”
I take a long, silent gulp of my drink, trying to ignore the confrontation despite it happening right in front of me.
These are two people I love, and it’s hard to not choose sides when flaws begin coming to the surface. Once they come to the light, it’s hard to unsee them.
And this one? It’sblindingGrant.
Still, these are the types of cracks and weaknesses we all have. Ones we all pray no one notices, but they inevitably get revealed anyway. And who am I to love someone for their strengths but hold their weaknesses against them?
But standing here, watching the way Grant’s face hardens while Kara crumbles beneath his gaze, it makes me realize that the lines that are hardest to cross are also the ones hardest to come back from.
“You’re a fucking neuroscience major!” Grant yells, ripping the baggie from her hand. “You know better than anyone what this shit can do to a person!”
“It’s not?—”
“What I think it is?” Grant sneers. “Please, Kara. Please try to tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”
Kara looks seriously pained, as if this information is being tortured out of her. “You don’t get it.” It’s the wrong thing for her to say. It even hasmewincing.
Grant goes stone-faced. I thought he was rigid before, but I can see now that he is completely shutting down. In his mind, Kara practically spit in his face.
“Get the fuck out.”
“Grant—” Now it’smetrying to calm him down. My eyes fill with tears, caught between my boyfriend and best friend.
He keeps his eyes fixed on Kara. “Get thefuckout of my house.”
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen from him, yet it's everything I used to imagine him to be. I know deep down that the only thing Grant wants to do is help Kara, and her completely denying him of that was hurting him more than anything else.
He barely knows Kara beyond who she is to me. He’s hung out in our apartment, and has talked to her a lot in group settings, but it’s clear that doesn’t matter. He’s a damage control freak, constantly wanting to keep people out of harm's way. It’s who he is.
And Kara just detonated every alarm in his head.
It was as easy as that. Kara turns and walks out, but not without a long look toward me. She’s wondering if I’m going to stop her—stop Grant.
I wouldn’t like to call it picking sides. I’m not choosing between my best friend and my boyfriend. But this is Grant’s house, and if he doesn’t want people with drugs here, he has the authority to ask her to leave.
And after what Kara did—lying to me about laying off the drug use and then bringing it here—I’m not going to stick my neck out for her.
Still, I can’t help but mouth,“I’m sorry,”as Kara walks out the front door. Because it hurts. It hurts me that her mistakes are tearing holes in all of us.
When he turns to me, his face is flooded with sympathy. “I’m sorry,” he tells me, running his hands through his hair, sounding truly regretful.
“You did the right thing,” I tell him easily, stepping closer so that I’m practically right up against him.
Grant doesn't seem convinced. He doesn’t look relieved in the slightest now that Kara’s exited the house. Nothing about how this all transpired went down the right way, yet there’s no other way I can think to handle it.
“Grant.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. She shouldn’t have brought that stuff here.”
He finally looks at me, his eyes searing with the type of pain I’ve only ever seen when he’s told me about his mom. “I shouldn’t have done that. She’s your friend, and it’s your birthday. I didn’t need to kick her out.”
“Yes, you did.” I nod. “I would never ask you to put yourself in that situation. One of us will text her and make sure she gets home safe, but she doesn’t need to be here right now.”
“Lina!” Savannah’s voice cuts the tension between Grant and me. “What the fuck happened?” I’m guessing she only saw Kara storm out, not what happened beforehand.
Grant and I must give her a similar look because she stops dead in her tracks, only about a foot away from us. “Shit, did she bring something here?”
We both nod.
