Page 204 of Built to Fall
“Have they ever posted anything that’s one hundred percent fake?” I counter, my voice sounding completely void.
“You think it’s true?” Kara asks, stunned.
“I don’t know what to think.” I feel my voice cracking. This situation is unraveling in front of me like a ball of yarn rolling down a hill. And I can’t catch up.
“He wouldn’t,” Eden insists, standing like the ground under her is suddenly too unstable. “Grantwouldn’tcheat. Not on you.”
Everything comes rushing back to me, and all my brain can manage to conjure up isnot again. Please, not again.
But the post is still there. And now, so is the doubt.
I stare at the swing set. The trees. Anything but them. Anything but the way they’re all looking at me now—careful, uncertain, heartbroken on my behalf. All while I’m trying to convince myself that my reaction isn’t irrational.
Doubt is a normal feeling to have when your boyfriend is accused of cheating on you. It’s not a logical thought process, but it is the brain’s reasonable defense mechanism. It’s how I justify it.
“I have to go,” I tell the girls, standing from the swing and rushing toward the trail leading back to our apartment.
My legs move before my mind catches up to me, and I know the girls are following behind me, but I don’t care. My vision is blurred as the outlines of trees stretch tall and pass quickly.
I should have known better. I should have asked more questions. Trusted less blindly. Not let myself get blindsided like this.
But I didn’t. I let myself come to know love. I grew comfortable with the softness. I let it consume me.
All the while, he made me feel safe just long enough that I would forget to prepare for the fall.
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
LINA
Minutes ago, my life was finally back to normal.
Minutes ago, I had finally accomplished the goal I had set for myself when I came back to Yale.
Now, it’s all over.
I’m right back where I started.
Sunken by the pain of love and heartbreak. It makes me think they must go hand in hand.
Grant was the first person who understood me, the first person who got a look into who I truly was. He was the first person who made me feel loved.
But all of that? It was temporary. It was always meant to be.
I didn’t want to believe it at first, but now it’s all coming to an end. The sleepovers. The midnights at Sal’s diner. The trips to The Atlantis.
I thought love would be enough. Thatwewould be enough.
It all meant nothing.
The glue that held our hearts together was finally coming undone. And, honestly, I’m shocked I hadn’t noticed it sooner. I had loved him—Idolove him. I thought he loved me too. But it doesn’t matter, because it wasn’t enough to make him stay.
And as I stand in front of our apartment building, after racing out of the wooded trail, the full pain of what I have endured over the last fifteen minutes finally hits me.
He lied to me. He went behind my back. Hecheatedon me.
Grant Vandenberg has manipulated me to the greatest extent, and it’s impossible for me to hold back my tears at the thought of all the things he’s broken between us.
He promised. He promised me that he would never intentionally hurt me. He promised not to hurt me in the way Gage did.
