Page 207 of Built to Fall
I used to think they saved me.
But maybe all they really did was sit me at a new table, smile a little brighter, and hold out their hands with a little more warmth before carving out the same hollow spaces the last ones left behind.
Only this time, I offered the knife.
And smiled while they took it.
Grant has cut deep in my soul, and at first, it was the way I wanted him to. I wanted him to embed himself into my heart. But now that I sit here, regretting everything I ever gave him, I realize that he wasn’t putting himself in my heart.
He was ripping it out.
All along, I saw myself as the girl he loved. The girl he cared for.
There were more, though. More girls. Who even knew how many?
Everything I knew of him was gone. Every piece of myself I had poured into Grant was gone. Every single thing we had.
Gone.
And I want to say it’s for good. I want to say it, but I can’t, because I know I won’t believe it.
He is forever engraved in my vital force, and I know now that I will never fully recover from the damage that he has done.
I’ll look for him everywhere I go. I’ll mistake people for him at the grocery store.
If I’m ever able to sleep again, I’ll dream of him.
It only hurts if you let it. It only hurts if you let it. It only hurts if?—
I have let it.
Because Grant is a house of cards.
Carefully constructed, effortlessly charming, and seemingly untouchable—until the wrong breeze comes along.
He makes everyone believe he is perfect, but beneath the polished exterior, there is nothing keeping him upright.
If loving Grant Vandenberg has taught me anything, it’s that even the most impressive facades can collapse with the slightest push.
And Grant and I?
We were built to fall.
EPILOGUE
LINA
Notes of New Haven
CHEATING OR A CONVENIENT COVER? WHAT IS GRANT VANDENBERG REALLY HIDING?
GRANT
Lina it’s not what you think.
GRANT
Please can we talk
