Page 47 of Built to Fall
Her frantic movements mixed with her panic have me immediately moving to help her.
“Can you lift your arms?” I ask, bending the slightest bit at the knees so I’m eye-level with her. It doesn’t take much, considering she’s pretty tall.
She nods softly, lifting her arms halfway.
“Good, good.” I take all the help from her I can get, making quick work of pulling the sweatshirt over her head, leaving her in only a sports bra.
“Grant,” she pants, as if removing a layer didn’t help whatsoever.
I place a hand on her arm. “You’re alright. I’ve got you.”
She bends over, putting her hands on her knees while looking down at the ground. When she looks back up at me, her eyes roll again, but not in annoyance.Shit.
Her body goes lax as her eyes hit the back of her head, and I lunge forward to catch her with my other hand as she falls. “Shit, Lina!”Shit, shit, shit.
My arms tighten around her instinctively as I hold up her body, panic slamming into me like a freight train.
Jesus.This is what I’ve always been most afraid of. People getting hurt, disaster striking right in front of me where there’s nothing I can do about it.
I lower us both to the pavement as gently as I can, trying to keep her upright against me. Her head lolls, her skin is clammy, and my mind is racing.
She’s not breathing right. Or maybe she is, but what if it’s not enough?
What if her heart gives out? What if it’s already too late? What if I didn’t get here fast enough?
“Lina. Hey, come on. Wake up.” My fingers shake as I tap her cheek.
She doesn’t respond.
God, Iknewsomething was off. I saw it. I saw it, and I still let her keep running through campus in the middle of the night like this.
My heart pounds in my ears. I’m trying to breathe, trying not to tip over the edge, but the fear’s already wrapped around my throat.
Passing out may not bethatbig of a deal, but I’m panicking more because I know there’s a bigger reason behind this.
I’ve known that Lina hasn’t been sleeping—that much is obvious. I have no idea what else is going on. She could be dehydrated or not eating.
This feelsbigger.
Then I feel her body stiffen, and I know my intuition was right. This is only getting worse. It’s my biggest fear coming to life.
Worst-case scenarios are all I think about, but now, having it happen right in front of me is not something I could have everprepared for.
Her body begins convulsing in hard, violent jerks that send her side-to-side. Her muscles are completely locked up, trembling uncontrollably in my arms. Foam gathers at the corner of her mouth.
My heart stops because I’ve never seen anything like this.
I ease her onto her side, trying to remember every first-aid thing I’ve ever heard about seizures. I cradle her head, keeping her from hitting anything, but my hands are shaking so bad I can barely hold her still.
The seizure lasts maybe thirty seconds, but it feels like a goddamn lifetime—myentire lifetime. When it stops, her body goes limp again. I wonder if there are drugs running through her system causing this reaction. It makes my blood run cold.I can’t do this again.
I pull out my phone, my hands shaking as I dial a number that gives me flashbacks to the worst day of my life.
“911, what is your emergency?”
“I need an ambulance. Outside the Yale University football facility.” I’m sure my voice sounds manic. “She’s unconscious and had a seizure.”
The operator keeps asking me questions, and despite me no longer wanting to be a part of this phone call, I answer each of them.
