Page 17 of Bred By the Minotaur
I hope I haven’t disrupted her life too much already with my antics, with my misplaced hope that she would want something more from me. But she’s at DreamTogether for a reason, the same as I am. She’s a professional at this. She doesn’t want personal complications.
It’s like flirting with your masseuse. I’m disgusted with myself.
I bump the roof of my car with my fist and get in. I took the day off so I could pick up Milo from school and spend the afternoon with him. When I made those plans, I thought I would be in a much better mood after seeing Phoebe again today.
But my anger at myself fades when I park at the school and go into Milo’s classroom, where I find him happily scribbling on paper with a marker, surrounded by other kids playing and screeching as they get their backpacks to go home. He looks up when I walk in, and his face turns radiant.
“Dad!”
I pick him up and hug him, then I set him down and we walk out holding hands. We have a big day planned, and I’m going to put all of my heart into it.
Phoebe
I told him the truth. I can’t be what he’s looking for, and I’m not available in the way he’s hoping.
Back at home, I try to get some work done, but it’s impossible to keep my focus on my task. My mind flits back to Hank, remembering how expertly he knew what to do with me, how to treat me, how to make me scream. Eventually it’s time to head to my sister’s to make dinner and help her out around the house until I drag myself home and go to bed.
I’m a little sore between the legs when I get in my car. I took all of Hank today—and I feel absolutely euphoric. If I hadn’t had to tell him the truth at the end, I would have rather liked to fly away together.
But that’s not an option for me. For us. For so, so many reasons.
My sister gives me the side-eye when I arrive, but this time, she chooses not to ask me about my visit. She’s probably hoping I’ll spill it on my own, but I don’t want to admit that I shut Hank down. She’ll be disappointed, what with the way she’s imagining this playing out like some rom-com movie.
Dinner passes quietly, until suddenly, Sandra slaps the table.
“Come on,” she says. “Tell me something, Feebs. I’m dying. What did you say to him? I mean, you basically didn’t call back.”
“I shut him down.”
And we had the most unbelievable sex of my life. Again.
But sex does not a relationship make. Hank’s just confused by all the signals his brain is sending to him. I know because I’m feeling it, too.
“Wow, that’s rough,” Sandra says. “How’d he take it?”
“I don’t know. We were... interrupted.”
She arches a brow at me. “What about next time? Won’t that be awkward?”
“We don’t know if there will be a next time.” Just the thought of it, though, sends a shockwave of regret through me. I hope that’s not the last time I see Hank, but there’s a very real chance it will be.
I have to stop thinking like this. It would be for the best if it worked this time. Then I can move on with my life, get through the next eleven months, and then I won’t have to think about him ever again.
A few days later, I take my first pregnancy test. Negative.
Though I breathe a sigh of relief, maybe it would be better if I didn’t see Hank again, not after how I shut him down. I don’t know that I can face him, metaphorically speaking.
A few days after that, I take another one, and watch as the line changes color—a single, bright pink line. If it doesn’t come up positive in the first few weeks, the chance is very slim that we succeeded.
Then, as I watch, the second line forms. I stand in silence as it appears in the window and starts to turn bright pink, too.
Positive.
A big breath whooshes out of me. The disappointment is so big and sudden that I have to lean on the counter.
But it’s for the best. This is what he wanted—another child. I’m going to make sure he gets it, even if I can’t give him anything else.
All test results need to be verified in the lab, so I make a call to DreamTogether and they bring me in for an exam the next day. I can barely get through my work, tapping my stylus on my tablet until just the sound of it is driving me crazy.
