Page 118 of Cloudless
Dax’s reluctant footsteps follow us into the kitchen, but his eyes never stop straying to the hall.
CHAPTER 57
IT WOULD BE MY HONOR
LILA
The snowstorm raging outside is no match for the storm raging in my chest as I stare at the empty bed.
I clear my throat as the click of Kam’s bedroom door closing reverberates through the space like the caulk of a gun. “Thanks for getting the air mattresses set up for the twins. I, uh, I didn’t know you had any.”
Kam’s laugh sends a thrill racing down my spine. “I didn’t. I just bought them a few weeks ago.” Fabric rustles behind me from his shrug. “I figured they might need to stay here at some point, and I wanted them to have their own places to sleep.”
I twist my fingers in front of me as my eyes roam over the neatly made bed.
Kam’s deep voice rumbles right through me. “There’s no expectations. All we’re going to do is sleep.”
I take a deep breath before turning to face him. “What if I don’t want tojustsleep?”
His chocolate eyes darken as he clenches his jaw so hard I’m shocked he doesn’t crack a tooth. “You’ve been through hell these past few days. I’m not taking advantage of you, Lila.” He shakes his head as fists form at his sides. “I won’t be that guy.”
A small smirk touches my lips as I inch toward him. “You’re notthatguy, Trouble. You’remyguy. And you can’t take advantage if I’m the one initiating. That’s not how that works. This isn’t a quick decision for me. I’ve been thinking about this for a while.” I lift a brow as I continue my advance. “Now, if you’re telling me this isn’t what you want, I’ll go into your bathroom, change into my pajamas, and we’ll go to bed.” The tendons in his neck flex as his eyes bore into mine. “But if thisiswhat you want, I’m going to need you to take the lead here, cause I have no idea what I’m doing.”
He swallows thickly as his eyes search my face. “I want you more than my next breath, Sunshine.”
“And Ineedyou more than mine.”
With my words, his mouth collides with mine in a hungry kiss that feels like safety.
That feels like the type of love you only read about in books.
That feels like coming home.
I swallow his moan as his fingers weave through my hair to drag me as close as possible till only thin layers of clothing separate us.
Even so, it’s not close enough. My words are so breathless I don’t even recognize my own voice. “I need you closer, Kam.”
He smiles against my lips as I twist my fingers in the back of his shirt. “Patience. I’m not going to rush this.”
I’m not proud of the whimper that falls from my mouth. “But Ineedyou.”
“And you’ll have me. Let me explore you first, Sunshine. Let me worship you.” His smile turns wicked. “And then, after I’ve driven you to the brink of insanity, I’m going to make you mine in every way possible. That starts with me stripping you bare so I can see every inch of you. So I can explore every inch of this body that has been the star of my dreams for months. So I can etch my name on your very soul.” A liquid inferno consumes hiseyes. “Now, are you going to take your shirt off for me, or are you going to be agood girland allow me the honor of doing it myself?”
A shiver trails down my spine that almost makes my knees buckle under my weight. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before? Those aren’t the words of a virgin, Trouble.”
“Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I don’t know what you need. Trust me, I’ve had enough experience pleasing you in my dreams to know what I’m doing.” His fingers tighten in my hair. “Before we get started, I need to know you want this.” I open my mouth, but he’s shaking his head before I have time to utter a single word. “I mean it, Lila. I’m going to lay you out on my bed and I’m going to fuck you unless you tell me otherwise. I need more than a nod of your head here. This isn’t something we can take back once it’s happened.”
I nod anyway as my legs tremble. “Yes. I need you to strip me bare and explore my body. I need you to lay me on your bed and make me yours. I want togivemy virginity to you, Kamden Stryker. And I want you to give yours to me in return.”
His nostrils flare with my words. “If you want to stop, you say so. No judgement. No worries. We just stop. You got that?”
I nod my head again as my breathing grows as rapidly as my pulse. “Yes, Trouble. I’ve got it.”
His nod is strained. “Good. Now lift your arms, Sunshine. I need to see you.”
My arms tremble as I lift them from excitement instead of the nerves I thought I would feel when I imagined this situation. I expected awkward touches and self-conscious thoughts during my first time.
I never imagined I would be consumed with thoughts of love and a burning need formoreinstead.
