Page 27 of Cloudless
Suffocating quiet descends like fog around us as we emerge into the open concept dining room, living room, and kitchen combo.
When we moved in five months ago, the open concept space was a pleasant change from the cramped older home I grew up in. Now the cavernous space is too reminiscent of an open field with no cover to protect the gazelle caught in the sights of the waiting lion.
I’m sure at first glance, one in my situation might think Mrs. Jones is the lion. But no. It’s my circumstances that haunt me every waking moment. They plague me every second I dare to close my eyes and dream of a way to escape their suffocating presence.
I wake every morning wondering if today is the day the lion finally sinks its teeth into my neck to finish me. Some days I swear I can feel its breath from a taunting graze of its teeth on my flesh.
I blink out of the snare of my mind as Mrs. Jones unloads her arms onto the dining room table. She turns to me with sincere kindness shining in her eyes. “I’d like to begin by saying how sorry I am for your loss, Lila.”
I struggle to swallow with an urgent need for water to soothe my parched throat. “Thank you. May I offer you anything to drink before we start?”
A small smile pulls at her lips before she turns to shuffle through the papers on the dining room table. “No, thank you, dear.”
My feet carry me to the refrigerator before she’s even finished talking. The rush of cool air that hits my face when I open the door thankfully clears my mind of any lingering thoughts of gazelles and lions.
The rough texture of the water cap burns my palm as I struggle to open the lid. Raw skin is a price I will happily pay for the refreshing chill of the water.
The scrape of the chair legs against the floor sends another rush of anxiety cascading through me. We each settle into our seats at the rectangular table as I wipe the condensation from the bottled water onto my dress.
The emptiness of the chairs at either end of the table settles like a weight on my chest. My knuckles turn a ghostly shade of white as I clasp my hands tightly on the table in front of me.
Mrs. Jones eyes me with a tilt of her head. “This is not meant to be a stressful visit, Lila.”
I manage a small nod. “Of course. I can’t help but to be nervous, though.”
Her kind smile slips firmly into place. “That tells me a great deal about how seriously you are taking this situation.”
I sit up straighter in my seat. “This is absolutely the most important thing to me.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Let me give you a rundown of how today will go.” I nod my head as she glances back down at the papers in front of her. “I would like to start with a tour of the house. Then I would like to meet with Jasper and Posey to see how they are doing with all the changes.” She looks up at me. “I may recommend grief counseling for all three of you, but don’t be alarmed. That almost always happens in these cases, and it is not a reflection of how well you are doing.” I nod my understanding as she continues. “After I talk with Jasper and Posey, I would like to ask you a few questions. That should be the extent of our visit today. Does that sound good to you?”
I actually manage a small smile. My nerves slightly dull to that of a butter knife instead of a steak knife, now that I know what to expect. “That sounds great.”
She mimics my smile. “Great. Let’s get started.”
CHAPTER 12
IN NEED OF DUSTING
KAM
The thrum of voices echoing through our house does little to distract me from my phone this morning.
My fingers drum along the couch cushion as I reread the text thread for the third time since I came downstairs. My unanswered good morning text stares back at me like a bad omen.
Why didn’t she text me back this morning when she normally texts back right away?
Am I texting too much?
Am I too much?
I decide to save myself the mind-numbing tumbleweed of thoughts and lock my phone. As I lean my head back on the couch cushion to examine our dusty ceiling fan, my phone dings.
Yes, I turned the volume up on my phone so I wouldn’t miss a text.
No, I didn’t know what my ringtone was before I turned up my volume this morning.
A thrill runs through me at the possibility of seeing Lila’s name staring back at me. I almost drop my phone in my haste to check the notification.
