Page 30 of Cloudless
CHAPTER 13
MARKER WATERFALL
LILA
Throughout the day, I watch Kam’s eyes transform each time he looks up at me. I can see the pity clouding his eyes even from this distance.
He knows.
A hollowness forms in my stomach that threatens to swallow me whole. This is why I didn’t want him to know. I can’t stand the pity that will undoubtedly replace the warmth I’ve grown so accustomed to finding in his eyes.
The warmth that has grown into my only reprieve from the icy chill that blankets my life, gone in a matter of moments.
A familiar, feminine voice breaks me out of my spiraling thoughts as the final whistle blows and the kids pour off the ice. “Is this seat taken?”
Posey jumps out of her seat, not even bothering to move her coloring book and open marker case from her lap. The stairs act like a waterfall as markers tumble to the ground and cascade down each step. Posey throws her arms around Kam’s sister, unbothered by the runaway markers. “Ellie!”
A genuine smile takes over Ellie’s face as she embraces my sister. “Hey there, Posey-Pop!”
Her brown eyes, the same shade as Kam’s, flick to mine and narrow as she examines my face. Her smile dims as I confront the painful reality of the loss of Kam’s warm gaze. “Hey, Lila. How’s everything going?”
She tilts her head as she awaits the reply I struggle to give. My view of her grows blurry as my eyes fill with unshed tears.
“Hi, Sunshine.”
I feel warmth on my face as I realize Kam caught me cryingagain. I rub my sweaty palms on my pants as I try to reel in my tears. My gaze stays fixed on my hands in my lap as I hear Kam and Ellie moving around next to me.
Kam’s deep voice carries to me like distant music as he whispers to his sister. “Give us a minute. I’ll catch up with you later.”
There’s no hesitation in Ellie’s voice. “Hey! Why don’t you help me pick up these markers so we can go color together?”
The awe in Posey’s voice only grows. “You like to color?”
“Sure do! Can you show me your coloring book?”
Their voices fade into the dull roar of the crowd as they gather the markers further down the stairs.
The row of seats shifts as Kam takes Posey’s place next to me. I lift my gaze from my hands to search for my brother. I find him laughing as Dax, Mace, and even Wyatt chase him around on the ice.
A comfortable silence settles around us while the other kids and their parents pack up.
When we finally have a semblance of privacy, Kam breaks the silence. “Did you know that crows have best friends? They get stressed out when they're separated.”
I can’t help but smile at his attempt to cheer me up. My voice is so quiet, I’m surprised Kam can hear me. “That’s kind of beautiful.”
He’s silent for a moment before he says, “What can I do to help?” I’m stunned into silence by the unexpected question. I turn so quickly that my ponytail whips violently behind me. Our eyes lock, and I’m met with sheer determination instead of the pity I feared. “Tell me what I can do to help, Lila.”
I swallow roughly as I try to formulate words in the tangled mess that’s become my mind. “What do you mean?”
He turns toward me in his seat. “I want to help with Jasper and Posey.”
My eyebrows draw down in confusion as I take in the sincerity of his eyes. “You want to help?”
His eyes, so open and honest, search mine as he nods. “Yes.”
“With Jasper and Posey?”
“Yes. And with you.”
