Page 57 of Cloudless
Ellie groans from her place on the edge of my bed. “For the hundredth time, yes. He wants you to wear it. Open the note and read it for yourself.”
I trace the edges of the paper in my hand like I would a bomb. Logically, I know I won’t be the only girl wearing Kam’s name on my back tonight, but I’ll be the only one heaskedto wear it.
That means something, right? It has to.
I turn my back to Ellie to gain a semblance of privacy as my shaky fingers unfold the notebook paper. My eyes roam over the neat handwriting twice before I actually read any of the words.
Wear my jersey tonight, Sunshine. It’ll look better on you than me.
How can twelve little words hold so much meaning?
I exhale a shaky breath as I refold the paper and slide it into the back pocket of my jeans.
I turn back around and come face to face with a grinning Ellie. Her excitement is palpable as her smile turns blinding. “So, will you wear it?”
My eyes trace the bold letters on the back of the jersey once more before they return to her. I nod my head with a hesitant smile. “Yeah. I’ll wear it.”
Her answering squeal startles me into almost tripping over the toy cars at my feet. “Yay! We need to get started then.”
I back away from her as she roams her calculating eyes over my form. “Get started on what, exactly?”
Her nose wrinkles as her eyes lock onto the messy bun on the top of my head. “We have a lot of work to do, L. We need all the time we can get.”
An hour later, I hardly recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror. Soft, blonde waves cascade down my back and blend with the thin, red ribbon tying my hair out of my face.
Dark lashes stand out against my freckled cheeks. My blue eyes glow from the bronze eyeshadow I almost didn’t allow Ellie to apply because of how scary it looked in the pan.
The number 23 sitting proudly in the middle of my chest feels like a statement I’m not sure I’m ready to make, but the sense of rightness that it creates settles my erratic heart.
Posey’s soft voice pulls my attention from my reflection. I didn’t even hear her enter the room. “You look beautiful, Lulu.”
Ellie envelopes my sister in a crushing hug from behind as they both stare at me with hearts in their eyes. “Doesn’t she, though?”
I smile as I take in Posey’s cheerleading costume and high pigtails that are tightly secured with matching red ribbon. “Thanks, Ladybug.”
The pounding of little feet in the hall reaches us before Jasper does. “Come on! We’re going to be late!”
Ellie’s smile turns sinister as her eyes gleam. “I guess we better get going, then.”
If only I had her confidence.
The roar in the stadium sets fire to my already-fried nerves.
Ellie’s voice is muffled by the crowd and the handful of popcorn she just stuffed in her mouth. “Why do you look like you’re about to throw up?”
“I do not.” I push the sleeves of my black, long sleeve shirt to my elbows and fan my face with the game day program Jasper insisted we take from the lady who scanned our tickets.
Ellie huffs out a laugh as she stuffs another handful of popcorn in her mouth. “You’re turning green, L.”
“I don’t know, okay. It just feels like everyone is looking at me and they all know Kam gave me this jersey and they think I’m not worthy to wear it and that I’m just an imposter and I?—”
Ellie’s calming hand on my arm silences my raging thoughts I didn’t realize were tumbling out of my mouth. “Woah there. Take a deep breath in.” I follow her lead as she takes a deep breath in through her nose. “That’s it. Now let it out.” Webreathe out through our mouths as the chill in the air finally cools my heated cheeks.
We breathe like that for several seconds until my heart returns to its usual rhythm. She waits until my coloring returns to normal before she begins her speech. “First, no one knows anything about what's going on with you and my brother. Even if they did, it’s none of their business.”
I groan as I lean back in my seat. “I know. You’re right.”
She holds up her hand to silence me once more. “I wasn’t finished. Second, if my brother chooses to love you, that makes you worthy of that love.”
