Page 28 of Goal Line
He sighs, and his breath caresses my forehead. “I just don’t feel like he has your best interests at heart.”
“Why should he?” I ask. “I mean, obviously we care about each other, like friends do. But shouldn’t each of us have our ownindividualbest interests at heart?”
“I guess.”
“Luke, the only time you’d put someone else’s best interests before your own is if you loved that person with all your heart. And that’s just not how Christopher and I feel about each other. I love him as a friend, nothing more. And he feels the same way.”
After the emotional spiral I went through this year, convincing myself that we’d be perfect together, only to find myself shockingly relieved after I got over the initial embarrassment of Christopher not returning those feelings, it feels good to be at this point. I doubt my feelings for him were ever anything more than me wanting my life to seem perfect and convincing myself that if he and I were together, it would be.
“Okay. I just...I don’t want any external speculation that our marriage isn’t real,” Luke says. “And if he continues to act the same way toward you once you’re back to competing, there will be rumors.”
“I’ll talk to him about it.”
“And all the social media videos of you guys practicing together, the stolen glances, the teasing and playfulness—you can’t tell me your team wasn’t trying to sell the lie.”
He’s right. We have our own social media account and hiscousin runs it. When she figured out that fans wanted to see those types of behind-the-scenes videos, she put more and more of them out...even going so far as to have us stage some of them.
“It won’t be a problem,” I say. “And the only way this skating thing is going to work is if Christopher will move out here?—”
“Do you think he will?”
“Yes. If we can find a coach out here, I think he’ll do it. It’s only, what? Eight months until the Olympics? I’ve given him eight years of my life in LA, he can give me eight months in Boston.”
“What do you mean, yougavehim eight years of my life?” Luke’s eyebrows dip as he studies me.
“Christopher took a risk partnering with me when his last partner stopped skating,” I remind him. It can be incredibly difficult for female figure skaters to find a partner, because there are so many more women than men in our sport, and I knew how lucky I was that he offered to skate with me. “I worked overtime to prove myself and it’s paid off for both of us. We’re both much better together than either of us was before. And he wants this Olympic medal as much as I do. When he got hurt at the last Olympics, I was fielding calls from coaches and parents who wanted me to meet new potential partners. You wouldn’t believe the way men were lining up to leave their current partners if I’d come skate with them instead.” I roll my eyes. “Vultures. But I didn’t leave him when he was hurt, and he’s not going to leave me because I’m pregnant. That’s not the partnership we’ve built.”
Whatever hard look I saw in Luke’s eyes before begins to soften. He hates talking about Christopher, so we rarely do.But not talking about one of the most important people in my life with the other most important person in my life can be...difficult.
“See, though. Youdohave each other’s best interests at heart, then.”
I hear the unasked question. “Not because we’re in love, Luke. Because we want the same end goal, and we’re committed to achieving it together. We’re a team. You, of all people, should understand that dynamic. It just happens that my team is smaller than yours.”
“Okay,” he says, pulling me back against him, and then leaning back so I’m lying against his chest. As I lie there, the carbs sink in, my body gives into the exhaustion of working overtime to grow a tiny human, and my eyelids grow heavy.
Just as I’m about to give in to sleep, I swear I hear him whisper, “But just so you know, I’m always going to have your best interests at heart.”
Chapter Fourteen
LUKE
Drew
Audrey and I have a babysitter tonight. Who wants to go out and grab a drink with us after dinner?
Colt
Jules and I are in.
McCabe
Sorry, we don’t have childcare tonight.
Colt
“We” is still so weird.
Drew
