Page 14 of Darkness of Mine
“Perfect.”
“Awesome.” He plonks down on his stool and goes back to licking the batter out of the large silver mixing bowl. We make quite a team, Samuel and I.
I’ve been doing a little better lately. When Alistair told me to start baking, I was ready to question his qualifications but actually it helps. It’s hard to get lost in your mind when you’re following a recipe. Plus, you know, you get to eat cake.
So the baking helps but honestly, I think hanging out with Samuel helps more. He’s a riot and he’s got this little coif of hair that always flops forwards no matter how many times he pushes it back.
The kid is unbelievably cheery andyoungfor someone who only recently escaped a cult. It’s like he’s suddenly able to be a child and every urge he had to suppress is bubbling out of him in laughter and play. Either that or it’s the constant sugar high I’m inflicting on him by making him my sous-chef.
I take off the oven gloves and rest my elbows on the counter behind me as Samuel licks his fingers.
Alistair thinks Sam gives me a glimpse of who I might have been if I’d been saved from my father when I was much younger. If I’d had someone like Rebekah to look out for me.
Alistair likes to draw comparisons. He also likes to ask questions. His favorite one being why did I run. I give him the same answer each time. To protect the people I love. I think he’s gotten bored because he didn’t ask that this morning. No, today’s question was what am I most scared of.
“Hey Sam,” I say, and his head bobs up, that little curl bouncing. “What’s your biggest fear?”
He shrugs his thin shoulders, his eyes dropping back to the mixing bowl. “Getting sent back to the compound.”
Fuck. Note to self, Freya, don’t ask traumatized kids what they’re scared of.
I push away from the counter behind me and rest my arms on the granite surface between us. “You know that’s not going to happen, right? Carmen won’t let them take you back.”
Samuel nods, his eyes creasing as he smiles. “I know. She’s even more badass than you.”
I let my mouth drop open. “Uh, insulted.”
He giggles and offers me one of the un-licked beaters as recompense.
“What about you?” he asks.
I pause mid-way through swiping my finger along the beater. “My biggest fear?”
He nods.
Taking a life. Becoming the killer my father tried to make me.
I shove that thought down as deep as I can and pull a face. “Spiders.”
Samuel shivers. “Ugh, yeah, spiders are gross.”
“Do you think they’d be more or less scary if they just had two legs and stood up like tiny little humans?”
Sam snorts, another giggle escaping. We go through different bugs and insects, imagining them as tiny humanoid versions as we clean up the mess we made and cut the brownies into ginormous squares. This kid has a serious sweet tooth.
After we’re done, we leave the side of the mountain with the kitchen in it and deliver the baked goods to what Samuel has dubbed the Hacker Hanger. A flash of sadness streaks through me, the name reminding me so much of Jude and The Lair but I push it down and paste a smile on my face.
Rebekah nudges Carmen, who’s sitting at a desk showing Rebekah something in the binary code on the screen. AJ stands behind them, arms crossed, on guard as usual. The rest of the team must be on break because it’s only the three of them in here at the moment.
I force a grin when they look at us and hold out the tin. “We made brownies.”
Carmen eyes me, wariness pulling at her brows. “Did you put weed in them?”
Okay, so maybe my grin looks a little manic. I tone it down a bit. “No, we did not.”
“What’s weed?” Samuel asks from beside me.
I point at Sam and lock eyes with Carmen. “That’s your fault.”
