Page 15 of Darkness of Mine
Rebekah pushes away from the desk and crosses her arms in an adorable impression of AJ. “Shouldn’t you be doing online school?”
Samuel shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “Uhh, food tech?”
Skepticism lines Rebekah’s face. “Shoo, now. Go study.”
Sam sighs and I slip him a brownie from the open tin before he slinks away.
Carmen spins her chair to face me and pulls a booted foot up onto the seat before looping her arms around her knee. “So, brownies?”
I nod like a bobble head. “They’re good. I bake now.”
Carmen chews on her lip, her eyes narrowing to slits. “You seem… better.”
Rebekah scoffs. “She seems crazy.”
AJ tilts their head, inspecting me. “Is that supposed to be a smile?”
“What would you know about smiling?” I snap, getting into a staring contest with the guard whose facial muscles barely tick, let alone stretch into a smile.
Carmen sighs. “Did you have your session with Alistair this morning?”
I turn my stare on her, any trace of peace I’d found while baking fading away. “Yes. I did. We argued about whether I should have run or not and then he told me to do more baking.” I plant the tin on the empty desk next to me, the metal clanging against the glass surface. “So have some fucking brownies.”
Rebekah leans in to whisper to AJ. “Is this what being fine looks like?”
AJ snorts.
I don’t really think about what I do next. Anger just rolls through me, moving my muscles and the next thing I know I’m holding my knife up, ready to throw the blade into AJ’s chest.
I catch myself, my eyes widening.
AJ’s already moved, positioning themselves in front of Carmen and Rebekah, their gun in hand.
I go still and swallow the rock lodged in my throat. I peel my fingers off the handle of my knife and adjust my grip. My hand shakes as I sheath the blade at my hip.
Carmen moves to come towards me but AJ spins, stopping her with a hand around her arm. They keep their voice low but not low enough I can’t hear. “I know you have a habit of taking in strays, but she needs more help than you can give.”
Rebekah stares at me with fear in her eyes.
What the fuck is wrong with me?I don’t pull knives because I’m angry. I hate knives. I only use mine for protection and I don’t ever want to hurt people.
Except I did, just then, for a second. I wanted to bury my blade in AJ’s flesh.
Nausea swims in my head and I steady myself with a hand on the desk. The cool glass sends a shiver through me. If this is who I’m becoming, then I stand by my decision to leave. Being away from all things serial killers should be making me less violent, not more.
I close my eyes and take a shallow breath. When I open them, Carmen’s moved herself in front of AJ and I ground myself in her steady gaze.
My chest tightens. “I’m not fine. I know that.” I think of the moments I’ve spent with Sam, the number of times he’s made me laugh. I think about how I couldn’t get out of bed last weekbut now I’m making brownies and actually talking about my problems. “I’m not okay, but Iamdoing better than I was and Alistair is great but he’s wrong about one thing. I did what I had to do to keep everyone safe. And I don’t regret it.”
My gaze is set on Carmen, but she isn’t the one who replies. No, the voice comes from behind me, cold, controlled anger threading through every word.
“Don’t worry, darling. You will.”
My whole body seizes at the low, dangerous tone. At the rage and hurt it holds. The dead parts inside of me burn to life, my core screaming awake. I crave that voice. Iranfrom that voice. And now he’s found me.
“Running has consequences, Freya.”
A shiver shudders through me at the threat, but I refuse to let it show.
