Page 40 of Back to You
Chapter 13
As much as I’d come to love this creaky old house and all of its clutter, without Grandma Gin here, I was drowning in the memories we’d made. I knew I needed to buckle down and go through everything, but she had so muchstuff. I felt lost, overwhelmed. AlI I wanted was to climb back into bed and ignore the world.
Georgette mewled mournfully as she rubbed up against my shins. I ran my hand down her back, offering comfort the only way I knew how. When she looked up at me, her blue eyes so worried, it made me sad.
I wasn’t the only one affected by Grandma Gin’s death. All of the cats missed her too. They seemed restless and depressed, pacing the floors at night and meowing into the wee hours of the morning. They were so attached to her. I didn’t know what to do to make things okay again.
I raked both hands through my hair and let my head thunk against the back of the couch. It felt as if a thousand tiny metal balls were zinging around in my chest, chipping away at organs and bone as they pummeled my insides. I couldn’t breathe. My skin felt too tight. I desperately wanted to shed it and escape the panic gripping me.
“Hey.” I didn’t realize Dane had come into the room until he spoke. I jerked my head up, then frowned at the concerned expression on his face. His brows furrowed and his full lips tugged down at the corners. He stood at the end of the couch, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, but it was the way he was looking at me that unsettled me. “Hollister, are you okay? You’re worrying me.”
“I’m fine,” I mumbled, waving a hand in the air like I could somehow disregard this bitter ache riddling my soul. I cast a quick glance around the room before returning my attention to Dane. He hadn’t budged from where he stood. It was obvious he didn’t believe me.
“Really—” I started, but he shook his head.
“I know you better than that.” With a soft sigh, he sat down on the cushion beside me. His knee bumped against mine before he planted his hand there, squeezing gently. “Talk to me, Hols. That’s what I’m here for, you know that, right? I told you we’d get through this together, and I meant it, but I can’t help you if you don’t let me in.”
I bit my lip and looked down at my lap. He was right. He was always right, but it didn’t make it any easier. I rolled my tempestuous thoughts around in my head, trying to find the right words to say. In the end, it didn’t really matter. Words were words, and they came spilling out of me.
“I want to leave,” I whispered. “Lock up the house and get in my car and run away from here. Iknowit’s wrong, and that I’m not facing my problems, but it’s so fuckinghardbeing here, surrounded by Gran’s things when everything reminds me of her. I feel like I’m suffocating and I… I don’t know what to do.”
His hand slid off my knee and up my thigh, to link his fingers with mine. “That’s always an option, you know. Maybe a little vacation is exactly what you need,” he said, matter-of-fact.
“But the cats…”
“Are you going to keep them?”
“I don’t know.” I frowned. They’d been a part of my life for five long years. “Grandma Gin kept them because she wanted them all to live long and happy lives, but let’s be real. Can I really give them the love that they need? There’s eleven of them and only one of me, and they miss her so much.”
I puffed out my cheeks, then rubbed my face with a sigh. “I feel so lost right now. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I dumped them in a shelter or something. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. Ilovethem, Dane.”
“I know, baby. I’m pretty fond of them, too. We can’t do anything about it today.” His blue eyes shone with warmth. “Let’s get out of here. We could get a hotel room and spend the weekend lounging in the hot tub and making sweet, sweet love.” When his brows jumped suggestively, I had to laugh.
“But the—” He planted a fingertip on my lips, hushing me.
“Let me worry about the cats, Hollister. Go pack an overnight bag.”
I hesitated, drawing my hand to my chest. “Dane.”
“I’ve got it under control. Trust me?”
Always.
* * *
Leaving the cats plenty of food and water, Dane whisked me away from all of my problems, at least temporarily. With our bags packed for our weekend getaway, we drove out of town with the windows down and the radio blaring.
“You’re gonna shit when you see this place,” Dane said around a smile. His fingers tightened over the steering wheel, his thumbs tapping out the beat along to the music. “It’s amazing.”
“Babe, you could literally take me to a ramshackle cabin in the woods and I would be the happiest man in the world, so long as I’m with you.”
“Aww, Hols. You’re so sweet.” He tossed me an ornery look. “But what if I told you that ramshackle cabin in the woods belongs to a serial axe murderer? Would you still be happy? Would you smile as he chopped us into tiny pieces and threw us in a stew?”
“Together in life, together in death,” I singsonged back, and he burst out laughing.
“This is why I love you.”
His words sent tingles racing through every inch of my body. “You love me?” I asked, my voice barely audible over the hip-hop song blasting from the speakers.
