Page 56 of Back to You
“Dane.”
He ignored my indignant glare. “Then I started noticing how you’d clam up and get quiet and moody whenever I had a girlfriend, and the first time I had sex, I realized it wasn’t what I really wanted. Sure, I got off but something was missing, and I found myself wishing it’d been with you.”
“But how long?” I asked again.
He blew out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know, Hols. When we were twelve? Thirteen? Somewhere in there. A long time, okay?”
“And…when did you realize you were gay?”
Dane smirked. “When I kissed you that night and you completely molested me. I knew then, for sure, but I’d always wondered.”
“And after I left, did you…” Feeling my face get hot, I gestured to my dick with a little laugh. “You’re too good at this. This can’t be your first rodeo.”
“I was with a guy named Sam for two-and-a-half years. I wasn’t really looking, but we met at E3 and he asked me out for coffee, and we hit it off. We had chemistry and some amazing sex. Not as amazing as this, but amazing nonetheless.”
“It didn’t work out?”
“Nah. About a year into our relationship, Sam started getting really passive-aggressive. He was so possessive over me. I couldn’t even talk to guy-friends without it blowing up into some big argument that ended up with me sleeping on the couch. It sucked, and the icing on the cake was when I wanted to go to a gaming convention with some friends and he accused me of cheating on him.” He scoffed. “Asshole.”
“Wow.”
“Besides, I never really forgot about you. The one that got away.” His smile was rueful. I laid my hand over his, where it had stilled on my chest, and his expression softened into something much sweeter. “I always had a feeling we’d run into each other someday.”
“Does your mom know?”
“Yeah. Pretty sure she always knew, to be honest. She said she’d always love me, and that she wanted me to be happy. She said it didn’t matter what was in their pants, so long as they loved me and I loved them. Didn’t really do the whole “coming out” thing because by then, everyone that I really cared about already knew.” He paused, studying me for a moment. “Did your mom know?”
I closed my eyes. “Yeah,” I murmured. “I told my parents when I was thirteen. It… Didn’t go well, let’s just stick with that.”
Dane grimaced. “That bad?”
“You knew my dad, so you knew how much of an asshole he could be. He didn’t take the news well, and that’s putting it lightly. Full-fledged freak out. It scared me. Some of the shit he did…” I shook my head, not wanting to rehash the past and the toxic memories it would dredge to the surface.
“I knew if I came out, he’d make my life a living hell, so I didn’t tell anyone. I was too afraid to. Mom accepted me, though, and that’s what got me through the next couple of years, until my parents got divorced. That was the end of my father’s evil reign, but I wasn’t brave enough to tell you the truth. I couldn’t stomach the idea of you hating me, too, so I swore to myself I’d never tell.”
“Damn,” he whispered. “I didn’t know it’d gotten that bad.”
“Why do you think I spent most of my time at your house? It doesn’t matter anymore, though. It’s over, and now I have you and Custard and this creaky old RV.” I leaned in and pecked him on the lips. “Living the life.”
Dane chuckled, smiling into my kiss. “It’s a good life to have.”
“I’m not complaining.”
“That’s a first,” he snarked.
I grabbed the pillow and smacked him in the face with it. The bottle of lube went flying across the room at the same time, and I laughed. “Get up, asshole. Those yard sales won’t shop themselves.”
