Page 57 of Back to You
Chapter 18
Like Grandma Gin always said, “Time always flies when you’re having fun!” and man, was she right. It felt like we’d only been on the road for a couple of weeks, when in reality, we’d been gone for nearly two months. We didn’t really have an agenda, but that was okay. We were together and we were having fun. That’s all that mattered.
With a little luck, we were able to locate an RV park near a big lake, so we could spend the Fourth of July in the water, just like old times. It wasn’t the Fisher’s lake house in Michigan, but it was good enough for me.
Donning our swim trunks and a couple of brightly-colored pool noodles we’d purchased the night before, we flip-flopped our way down to the beach.
It was fairly crowded, but then again, itwasthe weekend of the Fourth. Other campers already had umbrellas staked into the ground, picnicking in the shade. A group of teenage girls were sunbathing, their towels stretched out over the hot sand as they exposed their bodies to the sun.
There was even a little white terrier running around without a leash on. He greeted us with licks and tail-wags before darting off again. Two little girls chased after him, calling his name.
“He looked like a Jack, didn’t he?” Dane spread the banana-scented sunblock over my shoulders and back, rubbing it in good, and I did the same for him. Neither of us needed to get burnt.
“Definitely,” I agreed.
He grabbed his blue noodle and waded out into the water. I followed him, and soon it was just the two of us bobbing in the deep-end. Firecrackers popped in the distance, followed by hoots and hollers from across the lake. The band of sadness around my chest cinched a little tighter.
Grandma Gin had loved fireworks.
For the past few years, we’d spent the Fourth of July sitting in our lawn chairs with stiff drinks in our hands, watching our idiot neighbor nearly burn the entire neighborhood down with probably-illegal fireworks.
“Is this safe?” I’d asked the first time.
Grandma Gin had thrown back her head and laughed. “Ain’t safe at all, child, but if we gotta go out, at least we’re going out with a bang!” Her eyes glittered with excitement, reflecting the sparks shooting off the sparklers that we waved around in front of us.
The smell of gunpowder would forever remind me of her.
“Hollister?” Dane’s voice was smooth and soft, soothing my sudden despair like aloe on a sunburn. Unfortunately, emotional wounds were the hardest wounds to heal. I closed my eyes on a sigh, so close to him now that his legs brushed mine as we treaded water.
“I miss Gran,” I whispered finally. “I think it’s finally sinking in that she’s really gone, that when we go home, she won’t be there. It hurts, Dane.”
“I know, baby.”
“I didn’t get to say goodbye. That’s the worst part, I think. At least with Mom, we knew it was coming. I was right there. I held her hand till the very end. I saw her take her last breath.” My throat tightened up. “I told her I loved her right before she went, and fuck, I wasn’t ready to lose Gran. Not by a longshot. She filled that gaping hole in my heart that Mom left behind, you know?”
“Tell me about her?” When I opened my eyes, I found him smiling wistfully. “I wish I could’ve gotten to know her better,” he said. “It was so damn obvious she adored you, and I would’ve loved to be a part of your little family.”
“Youwerepart of our family,” I promised him. “She liked you a lot. She said we were ‘written in the stars’ just like her and her late husband, Calvin.”
His jaw dropped. “She really said that?”
“Really.”
“Wow. That makes me happy.”
“Me too.” I thought about it for a little bit, letting my mind wander back to everything that had happened five years ago. “She was…” I stopped to draw in a steadying breath, gripping my pool noodle with both hands. “I was kind of a wreck when I left your house that day. When I heard you sobbing, after they told you Violet had died, something inside of me broke. It shattered me. I felt like I didn’t belong there. I knew you needed me, but I panicked and the raw agony in your voice… I couldn’t handle it. You saved me, but I wasn’t there for you and I regret it. So many damn regrets, but—”
“Shh.” Dane pressed his lips to mine, shutting down my tirade of angst. When he pulled his head back, his mouth twitched up into a smile. “Tell me about after. Tell me about Grandma Gin,” he said simply.
“I went broke pretty fast. I was picked up by an older guy and stayed at his condo for a few days, but he got pushy. It was obvious he expected sex, so I ran. I ended up sleeping on park benches like a hobo.” I frowned. “It was probably the lowest time of my life, and I’m not proud of what I did for money, but… It happened.”
“Shortly after, I met Grandma Gin. I saw her struggling to load groceries into her car, so I offered to help her and to my surprise, she gave me twenty bucks and told me I was a good person.” She’d patted my cheek like I was her grandson or something, a twinkle in her eye as she said, “You’re a good boy, Hollister Bay. Here’s a little something for your troubles.”
“She’d crop up every now and again, and I started doing odd-jobs for her, like weeding her flowerbeds or picking up sticks in her yard. Then one day, while I was mowing her lawn, she called me in for cookies and lemonade and we chatted for awhile. I think she knew I didn’t have anywhere to go. She offered me a room free of charge, so long as I promised I’d try and get my life together.”
“And you did,” Dane mused.
“I did. I got my GED. Got a job. Started going to therapy, started trying to work through all the grief and the pain and the guilt. It sucked, and it took a long time. A couple of years. Gran got me a good-paying job and I worked my way up to management. I wanted to make her proud. By then, she’d become family. I figured I’d focus on saving money and then… I don’t know. I didn’t really have a plan beyond that.”
