Page 65 of Back to You
As Dane’s car crept down the gravel lane that led to cemetery, I held the bouquet of white lilies to my chest, making the cellophane crinkle. I barely remembered this place, with its wrought-iron fencing painted white and its line of bushy shrubbery edging the parameters.
Sitting at the front gates were two large stone lions, standing guard over the souls who rested here. I closed my eyes on a smile. I didn’t remember them in my grief, but they were so fitting. Mom had had a small collection of lion and the lamb figurines, after all. Now I wished I’d kept at least one of them.
Ah well.
“Want me to come with?” Dane asked, pulling up near Mom’s grave. I swallowed around the lump of emotions that were fast-building in my throat, then nodded. He squeezed my hand. I squeezed right back. We got out of the car and walked around the front, to the grassy plot of land where my mom was buried. Tiny purple flowers had sprouted up on her grave, surrounding the etched stone memorial that I’d barely been able to afford.
Here lies Temperance Joliet. Forever loved and forever missed.
Tears swam in my eyes, making it hard to see. I blinked a couple of times to try and clear my vision, and took a deep breath. Dane gently threaded his fingers in mine, giving me the courage to speak.
“Hi, Mom,” I whispered, my voice thick. “I brought you some flowers. Lilies. I know they were your favorite.” I squeezed my eyes shut, then knelt down and unwrapped the flowers from their plastic coverings. I laid the bouquet on her gravestone, touching my fingers to the cool granite.
“I miss you. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing you. I know you always worried about me, going on without you, but I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to worry anymore. I’m okay. I’m more than okay. I have Dane and—” I choked on a cry, wiping my face with the back of my sleeve. “I love him. He is my strength when I am weak, and my courage when I’m scared. I don’t know where I’d be without him. My guardian angel…”
I blew out a slow breath, sniffling. “We went on a road trip, me and Dane. We rode horses on the beach, just like you always wanted to do. We went to a weird horror museum that you would’ve loved, and saw Sebastian St. Crow live in concert…but you already know that, don’t you? I bet you and Grandma Gin are up there, playing [euker] over margaritas right now.” I laughed. “I miss you both like crazy, but I’ve got too much to live for to come join you now. Maybe in sixty years or so.”
Dane beamed at me, his blue eyes twinkling like stardust. I stood and looped my arms around him, pressing my face against the soft leather of his jacket. He kissed the top of my head. “I’m so damn proud of you, Hollister, and she is too,” he whispered, and the tears fell harder. I held onto him and he held onto me and we cried together, surrounded by gravestones.
As we turned back towards the car, something made me stop. “Wait.” I picked up the lilies, drawing them to my nose and breathing in their sweetly-floral scent. What good were flowers to the dead? Mom would want them to go to someone who could enjoy them. I left behind a single white lily, then held the rest to my chest. I gazed at Dane through my damp lashes. “For your mom?”
His smile touched my heart. “She’d love them.”
“I think so too. C’mon, Dane. I think I’m ready.”
My stomach was filled with nerves the whole drive there, but when Dane took my hand and led me up the familiar front steps of the Fishers’—now the Dawsons’—home, they seemed to settle. I bit the inside of my cheek and squeezed his fingers. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve him, but I thanked god every night for bringing us back together.
“Hi.” We were greeted at the door by two little boys dressed in khaki shorts. The younger one looked to be six or seven, where his brother was a few years older. They both had sandy blond hair and hazel eyes, which were filled with curiosity. The older boy held a sooty gray kitten in his arms. It blinked sleepy, mismatched eyes at me.
“Who’re you?”
“Guys, behave,” Dane chided. “Hols, these two charming gentlemen are Ryan and Theodore.”
“Tad,” the eldest corrected with a huff, and Dane gave me the most shit-eating grin ever. “Mynameis Tad. Only Gramma’s allowed to call me Theodore, and I only let her ‘cuz she’s nice and gives me candy. What’s your name?”
Dane looped his arm around my shoulder, tucking me against his side. “This is my boyfriend, Hollister. Say hi.”
“Hi.” Ryan giggled.
Tad didn’t look so easily won-over. He wrinkled his nose and eyed me. “I hope he’s nicer than Sam.”
Dane ruffled his hair. “Oh, he is. Trust me. Hollister has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. He’s the nicest guy I know. Now who is this?” He bent down to scratch the gray kitten behind the ear. Immediately, a tiny rumbling came from the little feline, and my heart swooped.
“This’s Smoky. We helped take care of him and his brother Ash after their momma got sick and couldn’t feed them no more, so we fed them with bottles. Momma Jo said we can’t keep them though.” Tad pouted. “She said they already had homes.”
“Lemme see this guy.” Gently plucking the kitten from the boy’s arms, Dane immediately planted Smoky in mine. And when Smoky head-butted my chest with a happy purr, I melted. I cuddled him close, but not before I saw the sheepishly-guilty grin on my boyfriend’s face. Yep. This was a Dane Fisher trap, one-hundred percent.
“What do you think, Hols?” he asked after Tad and Ryan had wandered off.
“Damn it, Dane…” He knew I’d be powerless to resist such an adorable face. Smoky had one blue eye and one green, and his tiny paw pads were speckled pink and black. How could I say no tothat?It was the cutest thing I’d ever seen in my entire life.
“He needs a real name, don’t you think?” Dane singsonged.
“Custard’s gonna be pissed,” I mumbled, even as I pressed a kiss to the top of the kitten’s head.
“How about… Pudding? Flan? Jello?” He laughed. “J-E-L-L-O. Jello. We’ve got Custard, so this little munchkin needs a food name so he fits in, you know?” He winked. “So start thinking, baby, because we’re taking him home.”
“You’re so bad,” I groaned. “And I walked right into this, didn’t I?”
