Page 10 of What Haunts the Heart
It wasn't enough. It was never enough.
"God, please…” I uttered, drawing his gorgeous face back to mine. I needed. I needed so badly that I ached. He sealed our lips together. I wasted no time. I dove inside, thrusting my tongue into his mouth to swallow his guttural groan.
He needed me too. I could feel it, pressing against my belly as he ground himself against me. He shoved me back against the wood and I whined, arching up to greet him. His big hands roamed over my body as if he couldn't bear to forget my touch. When he palmed over my ass in those skin-tight pants, I dropped my head back on a moan. "Yesss."
Time stood still. The world ceased to exist. Humanity could've died at this very moment, and I wouldn't have given a single fuck, so long as Oakley never stopped wanting me. I shuddered beneath his hard, hot body and kissed him with everything I was worth.
I kissed him with every single second of desperation I'd felt when he'd left me, for what I thought was for good. I thought I'd never taste him again. Thought I'd never touch him again, or feel his hands on my hips or his lips on my neck, and fuck…
To my utter horror, I began to cry. I sagged back against the door as Oakley nibbled and sucked at my throat. His touch was so tender, but so hungry. Needy. Tears burned my eyes and fell without remorse. It took a moment for Oakley to realize that I was unraveling. I felt him pull back before he cradled my face in his big hands.
"Eden?" His voice cracked as he held me like I was a china doll. "I'm sorry.”
I balled up my fist and punched him in the chest. "I missed you, you asshole!"
He didn't even flinch. "I know. I missed you too, so much. Please don't cry.”
Bitterness and anger pummeled my heart, followed by an ice-cold wave of sadness. I wanted to punch him again and again, until the big strong Alpha submitted beneath me. Instead, I threw my arms around him and held him tightly.
And I cried.
I let it all come pouring out, every last ugly emotion, until I was wrung out and exhausted and lonely once more, despite his firm embrace. The whole time, he caressed my cheek with one hand, wiping the tears free as they fell. What the fuck was wrong with me? This wasn't me. I didn't cry and Icertainlydidn't break down on Alphas.
I jerked back. "I'm sorry, I—“
"Eden," he murmured. "You don't need to apologize. Maybe it was selfish of me to come here. I'm sorry."
"Please don't go," I eked out, feeling so small and alone in the world. "I hate you right now, but I don't want you to go." I sniffled and wiped my face with the back of my arm.
"What do you want?" he asked gently.
You,I wanted to yell, but I didn't get the chance. The doorbell rang.
"Pizza's here," I said instead, composing myself enough to open the door. The freckled man smiled shyly at me, but it dimmed a few watts when he noticed I'd been crying. I paid him, thanked him, and sent him on his way. Poor guy.
I set the steaming pizza box down on my cluttered coffee table, then sank down onto the couch. I grabbed a wad of tissues and blew my nose. I was a hot mess, all red-faced and puffy-eyed. Ugh. Breathing as deeply as I could through my clogged nose, I looked up at Oakley.
"Why are you here?" I asked, feeling a little numb. Did I even want to know? "Really?"
He stood in the middle of the living room, his arms dangling at his sides, as if he wasn't sure where else to put them. He gazed at me with those burnished gold eyes. They were deep and filled with pain, filled with regret, filled with longing. For me? Is that why he'd come? Because of me?
The problem was, I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Was he here simply because we might share skin, truly one last time, before he went off and got hitched? Or were there other reasons?
His throat worked. "I missed you," he said, very softly. He moved his hands out at his sides, then clenched his fists. "I'm sorry. I should've called or texted first. I wasn't thinking. All I could think about all day was getting here and getting settled, so I could come and see you." His shoulders slumped forwards. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I'm sorry, Eden. I didn't mean to cause you pain. That wasn't what I wanted."
"I know. You…” I dragged in a shaky breath. "What about Claire?"
He flinched and dropped his gaze. "She came with me this time," he admitted, and I felt a twist of jealousy in my gut. It stabbed me through the center, then wound my organs up like spaghetti noodles on a fork. "She's staying with Kinsley and Chester."
"And where are you staying?" I breathed. My achy heart clamored for more. For more of this, more of him, more ofus.I knew better than to want it, but that didn't stop me.
He met my gaze. "I was hoping to spend time with you, but I understand if you don't want that. I know this is unfair.”
"Are you still going through with the wedding?" I asked, and he frowned.
"I don't know," he said after a few moments of breathless silence. “I… I don't want to and neither does Claire. That's why we came here, to try and sort ourselves out."
He took a step towards the couch, closer to me, and when he met my eyes, his were pleading. Begging me to let him stay, to let us have something more than fun, because it was obvious that both of us were far more invested than just a fling. Maybe we had been all along.
