Page 28 of Shadowing My Dreams
“At least you get to touch me.”
“True.”
“Are you ok?
“Knowing he’s a gay man and sarcastic as shit makes him less scary to me, you know? It’s like he’s… I don’t know. Family? A part of the gay family. So am I. I woke up today feeling like he wasn’t a threat. He’s just angry and sad.”
“Alone for all these years.”
“Yeah. Instead of being scared, I think I may be invested. You said something last night that made me… He deserves a happy ending, doesn’t he?”
“He sure does. Hopefully, we can give that to him. Knowing his name and a little about him will help. Maybe we can reach him in some way this time?”
“Now?”
“No time like the present.”
I followed him up the stairs and noticed that he was wearing shorts today. His white legs were peppered with what looked like the softest of red hair and freckles. I bet his whole body was covered in freckles, and I wanted to trace them into different patterns with my finger after I made him moan my name. I had it bad, and I was just diving into the deep end. How weird that I wanted this – him – something more than a fantastic fuck and a see you around. I wanted the always around part with him, and I hoped he felt the same way. I wasn’t even freaked out by it – and old me would have definitely been freaked. Hell, I would have denied it.
“Are you ready?” Archie held out his hand and without even second guessing myself I took it and held onto him firmly. The world shifted and we stepped into the in-between where a disgruntled gay ghost was already shaking his head at our presence.
“Are you serious? Why has the friend’s of Dorothy committee reconvened. I thought you understood that I didn’t want to participate in your gay games.” The ghost, Isaac (maybe), was on fire today. I hiccupped my laugh back, and we stepped into the room. I glanced over at Arch, and the color was already draining from his face. Honestly, he didn’t have much to drain with his iridescent skin.
“Isaac Nelson,” Archie said calmly. “Is that your name?”
“Oh, God,” he sighed. “They think we’re friends.”
“You’re dead, and we’re alive, but we don’t have to be enemies.”
“Well, tell me something I don’t already know, please? I’m dead? How will I ever go on living with that knowledge,” he chuckled. “Oh, wait! I don’t have to because I’m fucking dead.”
“And stuck in this place. Why have you stayed behind?”
“You’re very bland, and you’re destroying my peace. Seriously, you should find a tanning bed because your pasty skin is glaring and hard to look at.”
“Why did you stay? Tell us, Isaac, we want to help. It’s what we do. We’re not here to…”
“Annoy me? Too late.”
“We’re not here to force you to leave. You’re staying here for a reason – what is it?”
“Love, you little fool. I have stayed here staring out this window, waiting for love. Now, will you please leave, or are you going to continue boring me to death?”
“Love? You’re waiting for someone.”
“How astute. Give the big lug a ribbon for stating the obvious.”
“You died before he did, and you’re sitting here waiting for him to come back to you. That’s very romantic.”
“Call me Jane Austen, and I’ll call you Edgar Allen Poe. I mean, you do speak to spooks. Boo!” he teased, but he was anything but scary to me now. He was actually quite funny, and in life, I would have liked to know him.
“You’re waiting on your lover? What was his name? Maybe he’s still alive, or maybe he crossed over, thinking you would have done the same. You’re waiting here, but you have absolutely no idea, do you? That’s so sad. Let us help you. Please?” I walked closer to him and pulled Archie behind me. He was dragging his feet.
“I hope he lived. Waiting for him here has been… I’m not usually this put out, but when you’ve been put to pasture, and no one seemed to care – It was a disheartening death. One of thousands upon thousands by now, I’m sure.”
“You had AIDS?” I realized what he was saying.
“Had being the operative word. There is no AIDS in death, just loneliness and pensiveness like a boy holding onto a secret. All of us gays held onto a secret that we weretoo scared to let people know. Those secrets were as toxic as the fucking disease. They both rot you from the inside. Only one of them kills you, though.”
