Page 41 of Shadowing My Dreams
“I think you’ve always been able to. You just didn’t want to interact with him. I’m not the one who pulls into his plane, Jack. It’s you. It’s always been you. All you have to do is clear your mind and want it. Call to him, and he will answer. Then try to see him. When you try – you will slip through. It’s your energy there as much as his now. Your soul will naturally take you if you want.”
“I’m scared to…”
“I know. You would be a fool if you weren’t.”
“Will I get sick like you?”
“I don’t think so. That’s just my natural ability and empathic soul, which makes me sick. You’re not me – you’re you, and you are so much stronger than you know. It’s not just your body, Jack. It’s everything that you are.”
“I can do this?” I whispered.
“I know you can. I trust you enough to get possessed – again. I have faith in you.”
God, no one had ever said that tome before. I slowly stood up on shaky knees and reached down inside myself to screw my courage as tightly as I could around me. I could do this – Isomehow knew I could, and that scared me. I didn’t want this to be my life. I didn’t want to be Archie. But I also felt a warmth and strength I had never felt before. He had faith in me. That was enough, wasn’t it? I knew in my heart it was.
I bent down and kissed him lightly on the mouth. “What do I do?”
“I’ll take Andrew back inside while you are making contact. I’ll come in and sit down beside you on the bed and touch you – Well, Andrew will touch you in my body. I think that should be enough. Connect with him. Don’t be scared of it. It’s… We’ve done it before, Jack. Inside you, you already know how.”
I kissed him again on top of hisred hair and quickly ran my fingers through it. When this was over, and it would be over soon, I hoped, I would be able to touch him in every way I wanted and needed without making the world wonky.
“I got this. See you soon?”
“Yes. Andrew, are you ready?”
I walked up the stairs, and my feet were heavy with the fear I was trying to control. I could do this – I knew I could. But it still was so unnatural to me. I was doing this willingly. I was planning on letting a ghost inside me, and what the actual fuck? Would it change me? Would I still be the same person after?
Archie wouldn’t let me do this if he didn’t think it was safe.
I opened my bedroom door and sat down on the edge of my bed facing the window. No wonder he looked out of it. It overlooked the tree-lined street where people walked every day. When he was sick, this was as close to normal as he could have gotten.
I tried to push my emotions down – dampening them because I knew my fear of the unknown would only get in my way. I had to open myself up to it – to him. “Isaac?”
I felt him like a shadow all around me, but nothing happened. ‘Want to see him,’ Jack had said. I needed to reallywantto go where Isaac was waiting.I want to see Isaac. I have good news for him.
“Isaac? I found Drew. He’s here.” I reached down with all my courage and willed myself to be open to this experience. Archie was counting on me, and he couldn’t help me. I had to go there on my own so he could bring Drew with him.
The room dimmed, but there was still a block. Me – I was the block. “Push through,” I gritted my teeth, and the air parted and dissolved in a way I had never seen before. But I was so proud of myself that I forgot to be scared, and I willingly and knowingly let myself slide into the in-between where Isaac waited – staring out the window.
“I did it.”
“Ooo… touch her. Are you here with good news, or am I trapped in this closet forever?” He looked so sad and hopeless.
“No, Isaac. I have something to show you.”
I felt Archie’s weight on the bed even if I couldn’t see him. This ghost and spirit shit was too fucking much. A guy like me wasn’t supposed to know as much as I did or do as much as I’ve done. Archie’s hand on mine. Our fingers interlocked, and he faded into our world.
“Hi, Zac, I’ve…” Archie/Drew choked up.
“Is it really you?” Isaac stood up with a lookthat almost made me weep. Hope – he felt hope. “I waited for you, but I got lost, I think.”
“No, I got lost. I couldn’t come to find you. I tried so hard until I just stopped and suffered in silence. But they brought me here to you. They gave us a second chance.”
“Drew can’t stay here, Isaac. His soul’s energy is on a different plane than yours. It’s very confusing, so please don’t make me get into it. Archie could tell you, but he’s the transportation for your boyfriend. If you want to be together,you have to leave this place forever, Isaac. I can help you, but I’m scared. Don’t prove Archie wrong, ok?”
“What in the world are you talking about?”
“You have to possess me, and I have to bring you into our world. You’ve trapped yourself here, man. But I can free you if you’ll let me.”
