Page 15 of Finding Finn
“What?” I worked hard to look good today.
“It’s a lot of walking and it’s warm.”
I looked down at my leather dress shoes and the khakis I had put on. “You’re right. I should put on some shorts and tennis shoes. I’ll just run home and meet you.”
“No,” Buffy said too loudly. “Jim can go with you. It’s faster, right?”
Jim looked at his sister, and something silent passed between them. “Fine,” he huffed. “Trust me, it’s easier to say yes. Arguing with Buffy is like yelling at a wall. It’s impossible to win.”
“Alright. Let’s… uh… go?” I laughed, unsure of what else to do.
Jim slapped the back of Buffy’s head gently as he walked past her, and I followed him out of the office.
“It really is a beautiful day,” he looked up at the clear skies before walking down the stairs.
“What was your first show at the playhouse?” I asked quickly. Jim made me nervous. We had never really been by ourselves before, and I still wasn’t sure if he liked me. But that wasn’t the only thing. I barely knew anything about him, but I could feel this crush developing because he was so fucking hot. I made stupid decisions when I was attracted to someone the way I was to him.
“The Skin of Our Teeth by Thornton Wilder. I played one of the kids. I hated it, actually. But Mom insisted that I do it. I just wanted to play my Gameboy and watch The Simpsons.”
“You hated it? Then why did you…”
“Mom. But my second show was a kids’ version of the Wizard of Oz. I played Tin Man, and something happened during that show. I couldn't wait to get to rehearsal, and when it ended, I cried like a little bitch. I used to love to be on stage, I guess. It’s funny how things change, huh? By the time I was in high school, I hung with the popular kids and played football and baseball, so my time was taken up in the fall and spring. But whenever I had time, I came to the theatre and started working backstage. You know? Helping out wherever I could. I was young and strong, so they had me lifting things and hanging lights. I really loved it.”
“Have you ever thought about getting back on stage?”
“Oh, God, no. I have nightmares about it now. What was yours?”
“My first show was The Sound of Music. I started dance classes a few months later. I had to talk my parents into it, and the woman in charge of the theatre, Liz, helped them to see how good it would be for me. I was a really lonely kid, and I blossomed in that theatre.”
“Where did you grow up?”
“A small town in Kentucky.”
He whistled. “Wow… Was it hard to be gay there?”
“Terrifying. I was bullied a lot. But I found my solace in the theatre and dance class. My parents ignored any signs that I was… You know…”
“When did you come out?”
“When I was in college. I came out to Liz when I was in high school. She was more like the loving, supportive parent I wanted, and she filled that space for me.”
“Your parents?”
“Oh, they didn’t take it very well. They’re incredibly Baptist and think I’m going to hell. We rarely speak, and when we do, it’s just surface stuff. I had to make the choice to either keep them in my life or let them go. I chose my own mental and emotional health. I thought it would be a lot harder than it was, I guess. I lived my life feeling like they only loved me when I pretended to be someone else. So, when I moved to New York, I chose to keep their toxic thoughts and feelings away.”
“That’s got to be hard. I’m sorry that…”
“No. I’m ok. Every now and then, I think about it. But not as often as I’d have thought. How about you?”
“Oh, my parents had a small crisis about it when I first told them. They wanted grandchildren. But once they had a little time, it really wasn’t a big thing. They were just surprised. I was really into sports. Now, the town is really different from what it was then. It’s become a bit of a mecca for the LGBT community. My parents’ best friends are gay. They just worry that I’m gonna end up alone or something.”
“Why is someone like you single?” The words tumbled from my mouth before I could stop them.
“You’re blushing,” he smirked.
“I’m… just curious, is all. You’re very handsome. If this place has so many gay people, why are you still single?”
“Well, it’s not that easy, Finn. I don’t want just… I don’t know. I guess I’ve never found my person so far.”
