Page 39 of Finding Finn
Buffy ran around to me and threw her arms around me as I buried my head on her shoulder and let everything out. She would be as devastated as I was. But all I could think about was myself.
I was going to be lonely again. But this time, I would know what it was I lost. It would only make it worse.
“Jim… Honey, you have to tell me what’s happening. You’re freaking me out,” she sounded so scared. “Was it Mom or Dad?”
“No…” I sniffed. “Sorry, I… I didn’t think that you’d… I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be sorry, babe. Just tell me what’s wrong.” She rubbed my shorn head gently. “You’ve got me absolutely terrified.”
“I overheard Finn talking to… to… his… ex.”
“You what? No, it couldn’t be.”
“He was.”
I managed to pull my head off her shoulder.
“What did he say?”
“He’s thinking about going back to him. Marcus wants him back, and… I mean, he’s considering it. He didn’t tell him to fuck off, Buff. He told him that he’d think about it. How could he?”
“What?” She gasped. “He did that? I… I don’t believe it.”
“He even said something about going back to New York.”
“He’s going to leave us?”
“I guess.”
“Oh, honey… I’m,” she wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m so sorry. Are you… No, you’re not ok.”
“No… What’s worse, Buff… I love him.”
“I… I’m in shock.” She let go of me and put her hand on her pulse. “Yeah, my heart’s racing.”
“I meant nothing, I guess. He didn’t even… Why didn’t he say no?”
“I don’t know, honey. Did you talk to him?”
“No, I ran away like a little bitch. I had to get out of there. I… I couldn’t stop… crying.”
“Oh, my God, Jim! You needed to talk to him. Maybe you didn’t understand everything?”
“I understood plenty. I heard the words coming out of his mouth, Buff.”
“I… Fuck!” she screamed. “This is what I was… Why didn’t you two take it slow? I mean, I figured it would be you who’dbreak his heart, but… No! No! I am not going to stand here and let this happen on my watch. Get your ass up off the couch.”
“Why? What good would it do?”
“Do you love him?”
“I thought I…” I fucking burst into tears again. I was not used to this. I almost never cried, and this was absolutely horrible. I just wanted it to end. “I need to get angry. I need to stop feeling so shitty and lost.”
“Jim James, I told you to get off your fucking ass and go back to that theatre. If you love him, you have to tell him. You have to fight for your man. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I know that he… I mean, I’d bet money on it.”
“If he loved me, Buff, then why would he say what he said to his ex? We’ve known each other for weeks, but they have had years.”
“Horrible, cheated on years. Do you really think he’d go back to New York and leave us with a show to do? That’s… That just pisses me off. It’s unprofessional!”
