Page 40 of Finding Finn
“Yes, that’s what you should get mad at. Fucking Annie. Fuck Annie.”
“Get up and march your ass to my truck, right now. Why do I always have to be the one to do shit around here? I said get your tight ass up off the couch, dumbass.”
I threw my hands up. I knew that she was not going to take no for an answer. Even if I didn’t want to, I needed to find out the truth. I needed to stop this fucking infernal crying. If the boys could see me now, they’d never stop teasing me.
“Go upstairs and wash your face. Screw your anger to the ground and let’s go talk to him. Let’s find out the fucking truth.”
“I’m not sure I can, Buff.”
“Yes, you can. Now get your ass up.”
I did what I was told. I walked upstairs, washed my face, and changed my shirt because it had become wet with my tears. Istared at my sad reflection in the mirror. People always thought that I was made of steel or something, but that was a lie. I was made of tin. I was a tin man who could be damaged beyond repair with one blow. The tin man… a man who had no heart. Did he have no heart because it was broken beyond repair?
I had cried enough tears for Finn. No, not for him – because of him.
He didn’t deserve them, did he? I walked downstairs and followed Buffy to her truck.
As we drove to the theatre, I felt like I was riding to my doom. I would never be the same.
Finn had broken me, and there was no wizard to put my heart back together.
15
FINN
Why did I even agree to talk to Michael?
I couldn’t leave. I didn’t want to. I had everything that I needed here, didn’t I? I couldn’t leave Jim. Our relationship was new and young, but it was real. We were real, and what I felt was real. I had started something here that I wanted to see through.
What would he say if I told him what Marcus had offered me?
He would tell me to go, wouldn’t he?
He would want me to succeed. He would want me to continue my dream. But could we continue if I did that?
We would try.
We would fail.
I was tired of failing.
I knew what my answer was without even talking to Michael.
I called Marcus.
“Hey, kiddo. Made up your mind already. I can have you on the first flight out tomorrow.”
“I… I can’t. I have commitments here, and… I don’t want to leave them. I found something special, Marcus.”
“Ah… What’s his name?”
“Jim James.”
“Jesus! Did his parents hate him?”
I laughed. “He’s special, and he treats me in a way no one ever has before. I have to stay here and see where this is going.”
“Kid. I’m going to be honest with you. These kinds of things don’t happen very often. It’s the perfect storm, and it’s your chance. Maybe your last chance.”
