Page 42 of Finding Finn
I started to walk to the door. “You are going to have to move if I’m going to fix this.”
“Do you love him?”
I looked her in the eyes. “With all my heart. Why do you think I said no?”
“I think maybe I should go in first. He’s really upset. He thought you…”
“I would never.”
“I know,” she looked at me as if seeing how I felt for her brother for the first time.
“If you think you should… Then I will be right behind you.”
I followed her through the lobby, and my heart felt like it was about to blast out of my chest. If I had fucked this up. If I lost Jim, then what did I have? Nothing. He was the only thing that mattered.
She opened the door to the bright red caboose, and I stood outside.
“Jim? We… It’s not what you think. It wasn’t even who you thought. One day, I think we’ll all laugh about this.”
“Laugh? I’m fucking… What do you mean?”
“Finn is right outside. I think it’s best for him to tell you. Listen to him, ok? You were wrong. Please, just listen to your sister for once in your life, Jim James.” Her pleas must have had at least a head shake because she came to the door and nodded to me. “Good luck,” she whispered.
He stiffened as soon as I walked in. I stood at the door with my hands at my sides and took a deep breath.
“Well…” His eyes were puffy. It broke my heart to think that I was the cause. It also brought something else out in me. He cared that much. He felt the same way about me that I felt about him. If he hadn’t… It wouldn’t be tears I would have received. It would have been anger.
“Marcus is not who you think he is. I’m not sure what you think you heard or what part of my conversation you heard, but… He is not my ex. Marcus Bentley is the name of the asshole who cheated on me. He has a Tony award, because of course he does. The person I was speaking to was Marcus Elkenstein, my former agent.”
“Your ex and your agent were both named Marcus?” He sat up a little straighter.
“Yes, remarkably so. Marcus called to see if I would sign with him again. There was an accident with the assistant choreographer from Kiss Me Kate, which is supposed to open on Broadway this fall. He apparently fell from a ladder while painting his house, and the position was open. I had worked with the choreographer before, and he always liked me. SO when they called Marcus, looking for someone to step in. He thought of me. It was nice of him, seeing as how I was no longer signed with the agency. I told him that I’d think about it. I didn’t know what else to say.”
“That’s… You said, ‘You want me back? Marcus, that’s… I mean, I’m not unhappy about it,’ the words ingrained into my brain. That was your agent?”
“Yes. Oh, baby… Do you think I could leave here?” I took a small step forward.
“I… I didn’t want you to. But hearing you on the phone… I… Am I stupid?” The way he looked at me – broken and sad- made me tear up.
“No. But you should have just opened the door and asked me. If you had come in, I would have still been on the phone. I have nothing to hide from you.”
“I mean, we all deserve a little privacy. I guess I shouldn’t have stopped to listen.”
“Do you think I care about that?”
“I… Are you going to take the job?”
“Didn’t you hear me?” I stepped closer to him.
“It’s a great opportunity. It would mean you’d be back on Broadway, right?”
“Yes.”
“You should do it.” He stood up and crossed his arms.
“I can’t, Jim.”
“Why not?”
