Page 42 of The Prince and the Double Shot
“As much as I’ll ever be.”
PHIL
“The decorations look lovely,” I grinned as I walked in and saw Sheena commanding the event coordinators. “Are the chandeliers new? They’re gorgeous.”
“Refurbished and updated. I love them.” She smirked and walked over to me. “What can I do for you, Phil?”
“I could use some… advice, I suppose.”
“Let’s go to my office.” She gestured to a small table set up in the corner of the large ballroom. “Throwing this event was supposed to be fun, but all I feel is a crippling sense of anxiety that it’s not going to be perfect.”
“Why does it have to be?”
“It doesn’t, but… I want it to be. Layla deserves it to be.” She sat down and shuffled some papers around on the table. “When I decided to leave my past behind and start over again, this became my home. I’m a proud woman descended from a long line of proud people. I’m proud of what Layla and I have done here. But it wouldn’t matter where I was, to be honest with you. A home isn’t walls and floors – it’s wherever Layla is.”
“I think I understand that.”
“I’m sure you do. I must say, the man who walked through our door with the weight of the world on his shoulders is adifferent man from the one sitting in front of me. You’ve found some peace.” It wasn’t a question. She smiled at me and reached her hand across the table. I nodded and took it in my own. “I’m so glad, Phillipe. Petra would not have wanted you to suffer in the shadows. You are going to be a great leader for Grandir. I know it, and so do your parents.”
“And that’s the… Why I came here, I guess. But now that I’ve lived here… I’ve changed.”
She raised her eyebrows and let go of my hand before sitting back in the chair. “Uh-huh. I think that was the point. But that’s not what you mean, is it?”
“No. I never thought I’d ever feel the way I… I will never stop loving Petra. No one could ever replace him. But… Maybe there is more room in my heart than I realized.”
“Zane.”
“Yes. I know that it’s complicated. He knows that I’m a… royal, but we’ve never actually spoken about it. He doesn’t seem interested in knowing more. He sees me for who I am without the trappings of country and duty. But I think that I have to tell him the truth. I’m concerned that he won’t do the same. What can you tell me about him?”
“Nothing. Zane’s secrets are for him to share alone.”
“But you know?”
“I know everything about everyone in my hotel. I am the keeper of secrets – yours included. If you want to know about Zane, you have to ask him yourself.”
“I’m scared that he… I don’t think he…”
“Maybe he wouldn’t. But you will never know if you don’t try.” She frowned. “Tell me why it’s so important to you. Your time here is about to come to an end. Margaurite has alluded to you leaving us after the ball to resume your duties back home.”
“True. I feel that I must. My father is…”
“I’m aware. But if that’s the case, Phillipe, what does it matter to you if Zane shares or not?”
“I don’t want to lose him.”
“Then fight for what you want.”
“Our laws are…”
“Outdated and old. They can also be changed. Or not?” She looked at me so deeply as if she were trying to infer something that I couldn’t see. I felt awkward and confused. She noticed the change and smiled. “I think that you have to speak to him, don’t you? Zane is an amazing young man who needs you as much as you need him. Both of you have found something special. Get over your fear and be honest about yourself and your own needs. The rest, I’m afraid, is in Zane’s hands. He either will share or he won’t. His secrets, his past, are his own.”
“I know. I’m sorry, I…”
“No need for apologies.” She stood up quickly and pointed across the room. “Not there! I want the tables further out. Look at the plans.” She sat back down. “Sorry. I have to stay on top of everything, it seems. Is there anything else?”
“Am I even doing the right thing? I know you saw that laws can change, but the Tranquilles are a people who find change hard. I don’t think the laws will change in time for me, but… If I can’t marry him… Is it even fair to want to be with him?”
“I think he’s hidden in the shadows long enough, don’t you? He has so much to give. Are you asking if he’d be happy being a consort and nothing more? Once again, you would have to ask him.”
