Page 24 of My Monster's Keeper
Then the prince flicks his finger, and frost explodes onto the ground around us, stretching in a wide arch. He turns the day to winter.
I glower at him.
The asshole sets the ice on fire. He’s a showy, flashy, prideful waste of space, but I can tell that my human is impressed with his showboating.
There’s a ripping feeling, and then Grim is standing beside us, leaning heavily against her, his tongue lashes out, covering her face in his scent.
I seethe.
I lash out, causing the Grim to yelp and jerk away. I charge him, but he dances into the Fae’s fire.
I expect him to burn. He doesn’t. He licks at it, eating it up. Consuming the Fae’s magic. Holy shit, this Grim is broken.
Will Diablos take him back? I wonder.
“Um, so Puppy is eating the fire. Is that a thing you can all do?”
“No,” I say shortly. “That’s not normal.”
“Ah, well, in the realm of normal versus not normal, this whole morning is feeling pretty much like I’ve been dumped in Neverland.”
Her face is serious, but I can’t be sure. “I have not heard of this Neverland. Where is this place?”
Becky’s face drops, and she looks horrified, almost more than when her bulbous partner pulled a gun on her.
“We’re introducing TV and movies next,” she mutters.
I’m not sure of those words, but I hate the constant feeling of being stupid around this woman, so I don’t ask her to clarify.
The Fae are back in their human forms now, and Puppy has managed to retain his shape, too. We walk towards them just as Diablos appears.
“Fantastic. I knew you’d be getting along perfectly.”
My human whirls, marching on the demon without fear. “You will arrange for the house to be fixed. I want plumbing. I want electricity. Furniture. I want a fridge to put food in. I want it fucking cleaned.”
“Those were not my terms, tiny human,” Diablos growls.
“No! It’s common courtesy. It’s basic human needs. You shouldn’t have to ask for these things. Humans need them to live.”
He frowns. “Why?”
“I can’t charge the phone to pay for things without electricity. I need to purchase food and eat. Diablos,” she glowers as she says his name. “I can’t piss and flush it even right now. It’s a health hazard.”
Diablos pulls a phone out of thin air and talks low into it for a moment.
“Well, how was I supposed to know?” Diablos thunders. “You don’t tell me you need all that stuff. No, I never noticed that your shit went into the throne in the bathroom. I thought that was for drinking. Hartley! I don’t know! I just thought maybe humans ate their own crap, it’s not something one asks one’s mate. It destroys the mood.”
I glance in alarm at Becky. She would never eat her own shit, I know it.
“I never noticed.” Diablos is sullen, almost sulky. “Don’t all dens just magically come equipped with this stuff?” He rakes his hand through his long hair and groans.
Dens get better than what we have already? I’m intrigued.
“Fine. I’ll fix it. But you will show me when I get home tonight. I want to see this cupboard with food and this thing you call a toilet. I will expect to witness this defecation of yours and confirm if you are telling me truths, Hart, my love. No, I don’t care how embarrassing it is. I will not be made a fool. You will shit for me like a good boy.”
Okay, I think I just threw up some shadows. I shudder and turn to find Becky staring with wide eyes and an expression that appears to be a cross between fascination and horror.
Diablos hisses and then turns back to us. “It will be done.”
