Page 3 of Hearts of Resistance
Sophia could see it as clearly as a picture: a brood of children gathered around them, listening to their handsome father sharing tales of the war and what they’d done to survive. But she knew how easily that pretty scene could be shattered.
‘One day at a time,’ she whispered against his lips. ‘Every day we have together is worth it.’
She was tired but knew how bored he must be, and so she sat with him as he talked about his plan to create another compartment somewhere in the kitchen, somewhere safe for her to conceal not just him, but whomever else she brought home. She listened to him speak of his mother, his eyes lighting up as he imagined her finding safe passage, being hidden by someone as caring as his girlfriend, escaping from the clutches of the Nazis. Sophia, in her heart of hearts, wanted to believe in his words, but she knew the truth of what was happening out there.
The Jewish camps were awful, filthy and full of starving, sick people. They were places so bad that she couldn’t even imagine a dog surviving there. But she never said a word, because if Alex didn’t have faith, then he’d never be able to survive.
‘Sophia?’
She blinked and realised he was asking her a question. ‘Sorry?’
‘Are you going out tonight?’
She nodded. ‘If I get the signal.’
Alex knew not to ask for details, and she never told him. He didn’t know about her false papers, or if he did he never said, and he didn’t know where she went or whom she met with. It was safer that way. For everyone involved. Her work was what kept her going and made her believe that the Germany she loved would one day return.
‘I’ll prepare dinner for us, then it’s time for me to go,’ she said. In other words, it was almost time for him to hide in his box again – only this time it would be for hours.
Sophia rubbed at her chest, using the heel of her palm. She’d had a tightness there for months, a pressure that she couldn’t disperse no matter how hard she tried. It was there at night, weighing her down when she tried to fall asleep; it was there when she carried on as normal during the day and tried to pretend she was a model German citizen; and it was most definitely there when she slipped out into the cover of darkness when she should be safely asleep inside her apartment.
She dropped her hand and took a deep, shuddering breath. It was only recently that she’d insisted on hiding Alex away whenever she left the apartment, but she wondered if he merely went along with it until she’d gone, and then got out. She wouldn’t blame him if he did, but she’d had a strange feeling lately, a certainty that her apartment was going to be searched. Nothing had been said, but the last time her father had been to visit he’d questioned her about her beliefs, as if to make certain that his daughter wasn’t harbouring a softness for Jews. His hatred was so deep, so real, that it made her stomach curdle just thinking about it.
If only my dear father could see me now.She clenched her fists, tapping her pocket again to check for the hundredth time that she had her identity card on her. At night she was Heidi Becker, and she prayed every time she went out that no one she came across would recognise her. If they did, she’d be found out for sure.
Tonight she’d received the call she’d been expecting. Her phone had rung once, then stopped. She’d listened for it, waited, and then, sure enough, it sounded out again for just one more shrill ring. That was her signal and she’d known that once again she’d be sneaking out and playing her part in another rescue operation. Alex hadn’t asked where she was going. He’d simply kissed her goodnight, a long, sweet press of his lips to her forehead, and she’d disappeared without knowing if she’d make it home to him again.
The thought sent a shudder of fear through her, but she didn’t let it stop her. She walked quickly, her footfalls light as she rushed along the pavement. She was to walk in the shadows to a church and hide by a gravestone until she was met by a man she knew only as Horse. He was a big man, large enough to win a fight but with a heart full of kindness. He had a reputation for saving more Jews than anyone else in Berlin. When she’d been recruited by like-minded students, Horse was the first person she’d been officially introduced to. She’d had to prove herself to him, and she’d never forgotten how intimidating that first meeting had been as he’d questioned her hard and fast about her beliefs. The jobs had started out small, but as they’d lost members and she’d slowly earned his trust, she’d quickly become more involved in his secret operations.
Sophia heard a noise and froze. The sound of her own breath roared in her ears, her heart racing as she slipped into a doorway. She pressed her back to it and stood immobile in the shadows as voices travelled to her on the breeze. Being out at night was more than dangerous – it was a death sentence; only people with something to hide were out sneaking around. The voices slowly disappeared, but she was too scared to move in case they were looking for her, in case they were waiting for her to step out. After what felt like the slowest minutes of her life, Sophia straightened her shoulders and forced herself to walk, deciding to move confidently instead of shuffling in the shadows. Surely she’d look less guilty if she wasn’t lurking?
There was no noise now, the street deserted as she hurried across the cobbles to the cemetery. The last time, she’d caught an afternoon train out of Berlin and had to make her way into the woods. It had been less terrifying since she wasn’t technically doing anything wrong by using the train, heading in the same direction as her family’s estate. She used her own identity papers during the day, so all she had needed to do was smile, be polite and mention her father if she needed to. But once she was in the woods and following her orders, as night had fallen, her nerves had started to get the better of her. But she’d kept her chin up, met the small group of Jews – two families – and taken over as their guide to get them to where they needed to go. They all had their role to play, and hers was just one piece in the puzzle to get them to safety.
She smiled to herself as she thought about smuggling them, certain they would have made it safely to Sweden. They’d been hidden in boxes of furniture that were being transported by train. They might have had an uncomfortable wait in the bushes and an even more uncomfortable trip tucked into wooden crates, but hopefully they’d made it and they were alive. It was all that mattered to her, that they’d been given a chance to live, and when she’d retraced her steps to make certain no one had followed them, she’d felt incredible knowing the small role she’d played in attempting to get them out of Germany.
Sophia glanced around before darting across the road, crossing into a park and breaking into a run as she made her way through the dark. She was scared of the inky blackness around her; always had been, always would be. The thought of someone grabbing her, of not being able to see who or what was around, terrified her, but she gritted her teeth and kept moving, so close to where she needed to be. Besides, this was the easy part. The hard part was going to be making her way home with another person in tow.
Sophia gasped as she finally reached the cemetery, climbing the fence as quickly as she could and ducking down low. She made her way between the gravestones, hand reaching out to touch each one as she passed. And then she stopped, breathing heavily as she slid down and waited.
I’m missing my mother terribly. I wanted to be close to her. I’ve just found out my husband and I are expecting, and I don’t know how I’m going to do it without her help.
She said the lines over and over in her mind, ready to sob out her cover story if she was caught, if anyone found her and questioned her. Sophia felt the weight of the gold band on her finger, the ring she wore to go along with her story, her nocturnal identity as much a part of her as her real life.
And then she waited. The signal was a whistle, a soft bird call that she was ready to mimic to identify that she was indeed the courier.
She sat in the cold, lying in wait in the dark, praying that she wasn’t about to feel a rodent scuffle over her shoes, a spider fall from a tree or a member of the Gestapo haul her up to her feet and demand to know what she was doing. And that was without worrying about the new identity papers she had sewn into her skirt to give to the person she was about to meet.
Sophia started. That was it. The whistle was soft, but there was no mistaking it in the otherwise silent night-time air. It sounded too obvious, but maybe that was because she was the one listening for it. When it sounded a second time, she did her best to softly repeat it, and after waiting for a moment, taking one last sharp breath, she stood. A torch shone in her eyes for a moment and then everything went dark again, the sudden change clouding her vision with bursts of white.
‘You made it,’ a rough, deep voice said.
Sophia’s heart was hammering in her chest. ‘Yes. Shine the light down for me, please.’
She could make out only silhouettes in front of her, and she needed to move quickly to get the papers. If they were caught, these documents might be the only thing standing between them and death. She picked at the stitching of her skirt, opening up the secret pocket she’d made. She took out the papers and passed them over.
‘Here you go,’ she said with a shaky voice.
‘Thank you.’ The second voice was male but soft, that of a younger man, maybe only a teenager from the sound of it.
