Page 51 of Hearts of Resistance
In a way, she felt shehadgiven up her child for the cause, because she wouldn’t have pushed herself the way she had if she hadn’t been part of the movement. But blaming wasn’t helpful, and it wasn’t something she often let herself dwell on.
‘I’d heard about women like you,’ Harry suddenly said, his deep, low whisper of a voice helping to clear her head of the dark thoughts. ‘We were all hearing whispers of the women, and men, who were sent here to slip undercover, report back to London and stop at nothing to succeed in their missions.’
The others stayed silent. It was Rose who eventually replied. ‘So you speak French?’ she asked, surprised.
He grunted. ‘School French. Enough to have understood parts of what you were saying.’
Rose paused, wishing she could see Sophia’s face. She knew she’d be angry that Harry was with them. Sophia had earned her reputation for being focused and overly determined, and she’d be even more furious now that he’d listened to their conversation.
‘It’s true. All the whispers, everything you’ve heard, almost all of it will be the truth.’
‘Thank you for taking me with you,’ he said. ‘Once I’m strong again, I’ll do anything for you, anything at all you need help with.’ His French was slow, a little rusty, but she understood him. ‘I will protect you all with my life if I need to.’
‘Thank you, Harry. We’ll be able to get you out if we get to the chateau we’re heading for,’ she told him, surprised by his words. ‘Sophia’s been there before, but we need to make sure it hasn’t been compromised before we go charging in there.’
‘Do any of you have husbands?’ Harry asked, whispering in English now. ‘They must be damn proud. I know’ – he sucked in a breath, and Rose knew he must have been in pain – ‘I would be,’ he finished.
‘My husband was killed,’ Rose said quickly, not wanting to tell too much of her story. It was in the past and that’s where she liked to keep it. ‘I’d like to think that I’m making him proud.’ There was so much more to it than that. Her heart ached for him every night, every part of her wishing he was still with her. She could hear his voice, the whisper of his words when all was silent, the warmth of his gaze. Her love for him hadn’t wavered, and maybe it wouldn’t be until all of this had stopped, until she was back in their home without him again, that the reality of her loss would sink in.
‘Are you all widows then?’ Harry whispered.
‘I’m engaged,’ Hazel said. ‘But I may as well be a widow. I haven’t seen him for such a long time, and I have this feeling that he won’t make it home.’
There was a long stretch of silence before Sophia spoke. Rose knew she wouldn’t be so open with her story; Hazel would have to wait to hear that, and she doubted Harry would ever hear it. Both of them had slowly shared fragments of their past, then more, until eventually they’d bared their souls, but Rose had known she was telling her story in confidence, and Sophia no doubt had felt the same. It was like an unwritten rule between them that they wouldn’t betray the others’ trust any more than they would give the other up under torture.
‘No more English,’ Sophia muttered to Harry. ‘We’re already close enough to being caught as it is.’
The wind had lifted, whistling through the trees, making the leaves crinkle and the night seem almost eerie as Sophia’s low voice echoed between them. No one else said a word.
Rose thought of Josephine as they sat. She leaned her head back against the rough bark of the tree and shut her eyes, seeing her friend’s smiling face, only to be replaced by a look of anguish, the fear and then determination in her final gaze. With Josephine gone, she supposed she had to take over as the circuit leader, only they were moving on and their wider circuit had been effectively torn apart. But they had the three of them, and they would either join a larger group or re-establish themselves elsewhere. She as circuit leader, to organise and recruit; Sophia doing what she did best and acting as their courier between circuits and gathering intelligence; and the newly arrived Hazel as their dedicated operator. They would make a fine team if they ever had the chance to find safety and actually work together.
‘So where are we going?’ Hazel asked.
Rose cleared her throat, emotion making it catch. ‘The chateau. It’s a safe house, or at least it was last time we heard. We can go there, regroup and link our circuit with theirs for the time being until we can establish ourselves elsewhere. We’ll get you to make contact with London as soon as we get there.’
‘Of course,’ Hazel replied.
The others were silent and Rose thought of checking Harry, making sure he was actually doing as well as he was making out, but fatigue took hold and she found it almost impossible to lift her head. She needed to rest. They all did. If they were surrounded, then there was nothing they could do other than try to fight their way out, but if they were rested and careful when they set off again, they’d at least have a chance of making it to the chateau alive.
She settled back, shut her eyes and thought of Peter. She smiled as in her mind he turned, opening his arms wide as he always did when he saw her. Her lips parted in anticipation of his kiss, waiting for the moment that his warm mouth would cover hers. She sighed into him, her body melting into his embrace. When she looked up into his eyes, she felt at home, the way she had from the moment they’d met.
Rose felt silent tears slide down her cheeks, and she poked her tongue out to catch them. She swallowed their saltiness, refused to make a noise as she silently pulled herself together. Memories were dangerous, and tears were even more deadly, which was why she rarely let her guard down enough to shed them. Come morning, she wouldn’t grieve for Josephine again until this blasted war was over once and for all.
A cracking sound stirred Rose from slumber and her hand shot instantly to her knife. She opened her eyes, kept her breathing steady as she blinked and looked around them. There was nothing, no one but the three people she’d travelled with, none of whom had moved from where they’d fallen asleep. Hazel was the first to meet her gaze, and she, too, seemed to have her ears pricked as she looked around them. It could have been an animal or even something shifting in the wind, but then again it could just as easily be a German moving quietly through the surrounding terrain.
Rose leaned forward, quietly nudging Sophia awake. She glanced across and saw Hazel on her knees, lightly shaking Harry, her hand slipping across his mouth when his eyes opened.
There was something reassuring about being with her old friend, even if everything had changed between them. She trusted her in a way she trusted few people now, and knowing how highly trained Hazel was made her even more confident in the other woman’s abilities.
‘We need to go,’ she whispered to Sophia.
They both stood and Rose strained her eyes. They’d woken in time, but she knew Sophia would be furious that they’d all given in to slumber.
Staying on high alert, Rose moved to help Harry to his feet. Hazel was on one side and she on the other, and she could make out blood through his bandages from where it had seeped through during the night. They would have to tend to him later, though. There was no time now.
‘Let’s move, and I want everyone aware of their surroundings,’ Rose told them. ‘It’s even more dangerous now than it was last night, and we can’t have anyone see us approach the chateau.’
‘Do you want me to try to radio first?’ Hazel asked.
