Page 19 of The Spitfire Girls
PART TWO
CHAPTER FIVE
HAMBLEAIRFIELD, HAMPSHIRE,
JUNE1942
RUBY
‘Great flying!’ May called as Ruby took off her helmet and shook her hair out.
Ruby was breathless, the thrill of training in the big bombers like nothing she’d ever experienced before. She grinned. The rumble and power of the aircraft had stayed with her, still thrumming through her body even now that she had both feet on the ground.
‘How did it feel?’
‘Amazing!’ Ruby answered, walking over. She watched as Lizzie climbed up into the other plane, her shoulders straight, her smile steady as she waved out to them. Ruby waved back, refusing to let Lizzie know how easily she rattled her even though it took every inch of her strength to do it. ‘But no doubt she’ll show me up. Again.’
‘That’s enough,’ May scolded. ‘You’re every bit as good as her – you just haven’t admitted it to yourself yet.’
Ruby didn’t tell her that without Tom’s steady, calm voice coaching her, she was as jittery as could be. Lizzie flew like she’d been born in the pilot’s seat, with nerves of steel and an unwavering belief in her own ability. It made her easily the best flier among them, and Ruby knew she’d always be chasing her tail in the airandon the ground. She was good at her job and she’d mastered the bomber well enough, but Lizzie was something else. From that first time she’d seen her take off in the Spitfire without clearance, Ruby had known she was always going to be in the American’s shadow. They had both already surpassed the other pilots on the training programme, but May kept telling them they were still neck and neck in the running to be the first woman to fly a Halifax for the ATA. May’s superiors wanted to make a big deal out of it, putting all the pressure on one woman to prove exactly what they were capable of.
As they stood, her with her helmet tucked beneath her arm and May with her arms crossed, looking skyward, she admired the way the Halifax hurtled down the runway then lifted high into the sky. It was a big beast to get off the ground, but surprisingly elegant to fly once it was airborne, and she itched to be back behind the controls again, learning to anticipate the power and speed of her new favourite plane.
‘She’s not better than you,’ May said, breaking the silence. ‘You do know that I’m serious, don’t you?’
Ruby smiled. ‘I appreciate your confidence in me, Commander.’
May’s words were easy to hear, but actually believing them was something else. Every day, no matter how well she’d done the day before, nerves wracked her, sometimes leaving her bent over the toilet, silently vomiting as she battled with whether or not she was good enough. Working alongside Lizzie was a daily, if not hourly, struggle for her. And Tom’s letters weren’t exactly helping, reminding her that she’d always had him as her co-pilot whenever she’d tried something new or different.You need me up there with you. You’ve never had to make decisions on your own if conditions change or if something doesn’t go to plan. What if you see a Luftwaffe plane or your engine stalls?
‘Do you want to be the first to officially fly a four-engine bomber for the ATA?’ May asked, turning to face her. ‘Do you actually want it, Ruby, or are you just going through the motions?’
‘You know I want it,’ Ruby said. ‘It would be ...’
‘Then start acting like it,’ said May abruptly, looking irritated, her tone sharp. ‘It’s time you started believing in yourself, otherwise everyone supporting you will start to question whether you deserve your place here or not.’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ Ruby quickly replied.
Had it been so obvious that her confidence had been leaking out of her each day? She swallowed. May was right; she did need to start believing in herself more, without her superior constantly bolstering her. She’d been hand-picked for the conversion programme, and she needed to act like she wanted to win if she was going to stay in the race. Ruby kept her thoughts to herself and her eyes on the sky, hoping she wouldn’t give May reason to be so short with her again.
Lizzie flew the course perfectly as always, and Ruby watched as she touched down, bringing the big, heavy bird in like it was the easiest thing in the world. If only she could watch herself from where May was standing, maybe she’d be able to see that she did it just as well as her American colleague.
‘Have you heard from Tom since you transferred here?’ May asked, surprising her.
‘Yes, actually,’ Ruby replied. ‘I received alovelyletter from him a few days ago.’
May caught her eye. ‘Saying?’
‘Something along the lines of how terribly I’d affected his mother’s health, that she was furious with me, and he was worried how we’d all get along once the war was over if I didn’t end my flying pursuits and hurry back home.’ She didn’t tell May that he’d also suggested it was ridiculous for her to think herself capable of flying a huge bomber, when half the highly trained male pilots he knew weren’t cleared to fly them.
May grimaced. ‘So he’s still being as supportive as ever?’
‘When the war is over, my darling, I’ll encourage you to fly and soar the skies beside me, but you’re interfering with the natural division between the sexes. Men are supposed to be away at war and the women at home waiting for them, not flying along with us,’ Ruby quoted, hating that she was struggling not to cry. ‘Honestly, sometimes I wonder how I ever fell in love with the man.’
‘The best thing you can do is prove him wrong,’ May said. ‘Prove everyone wrong, his mother included, and one day they’ll be able to see the woods for the trees.’
‘I just wish he could see me fly,’ Ruby said, sighing as she thought about Tom and the flights they’d had together before the war, about how encouraging he’d been of her abilities back then. ‘Honestly, I think if he saw me in the air, if he saw the work we’re doing here each day, I think he’d understand. But his mother has her claws in deep, and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can say.’
‘She asked him to call the engagement off, didn’t she?’
