Page 60 of The Spitfire Girls
‘Get the tea,’ May murmured. ‘Or something stronger.’
Ruby froze, her feet rooted to the ground. ‘Why did you persist?’ she asked again, suddenly needing to know.
‘We had word, a call came in, I ...’
Ruby breathed deep, wrapping her arms around herself. Was it their base? Had something happened to the other pilots? She watched as May stroked Polly’s arm, and then her friend slowly raised her eyes to Ruby’s.
‘I don’t know how to tell you this, Ruby, but ...’
Ruby went ice-cold, and a shudder descended her spine. Was it her family? What in God’s name was going on?
‘Spit it out!’ May ordered. ‘What message do you have?’
‘There was a call for you, Ruby. It’s your fiancé,’ Polly stuttered. ‘Your Tom is missing in action, presumed dead. I’m so sorry.’
Ruby opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She went from ice-cold to burning hot and back to freezing again as she gaped at Polly.
‘My Tom?’ she managed to choke out, his handsome, strong face swimming in front of her eyes. She inhaled and could smell the musky, masculine scent of him, could feel his fingers as they traced against her skin. Her hand fell to her stomach.
‘What happened? Did they give any information?’
Polly, wide-eyed, shook her head. ‘They only said that he was struck by enemy fire. A Luftwaffe fighter appeared from nowhere and three aircraft were in enemy sights. They all engaged, but Tom took a direct hit and parachuted out.’
Ruby felt herself nodding, as if she were trying to reassure Polly that she understood what she was saying. ‘The enemy aircraft? What happened to it?’
‘Obliterated,’ Polly whispered back. ‘That’s all I know.’
‘So there’s a chance, I mean, if he was seen exiting in his parachute, if ...’
May’s arms closed around her as she babbled, trying to convince herself that he might be all right. Why couldn’t he survive that? Was it so crazy to believe that he could be alive still?
‘This was almost two days ago, and he hasn’t been heard of or seen since.’
Ruby gasped, a sob catching in her throat. So her Tom was dead. All this time, all these months and years of holding on to what her life would be like post-war, the snapshot image in her mind of them in a little home of their own, with children, happy and having fun again: all gone. And for the past forty-eight hours, she’d been dreaming of their little baby, of how to tell him, of marrying the man on their scheduled leave. And he was already gone.
Her legs buckled beneath her and suddenly May was on one side of her and Polly on the other. She should have thanked her friend for telling her the news, for risking life and limb to get to her in person, but she couldn’t.
Tom was gone.
The words repeated over and over in her mind, as she walked, as she listened to May demand a stiff drink for her and as a hush fell over the mess room when May quietly told the others what had happened.
Ruby looked up and saw so many faces, so many women whom she loved and respected, and it hurt. They’d all lost someone to this war; they’d all had their share of heartache, but until now, she hadn’t. Polly held her, rubbing her back, stroking her face as she sat there, crumpled inside.
And now she’d lost the one person in the world she’d been living for. She touched her stomach again, but refused to look down, shutting her eyes instead.
Please, Tom, please come home to me, she thought.
‘Just breathe, Ruby. Just breathe.’
She heard May’s voice, but she couldn’t breathe. Tom was gone, and he was never, ever coming back.
‘No!’ she finally wailed, lurching forward as the noise broke free, the pain too much as it tore through every inch of her.
‘Shhhhh,’ May cooed, as if she were cradling a baby. ‘Shhh now.’
Ruby wanted to run, she wanted to bolt away and never look back, never admit what she’d heard, never truly digest it. But she curled into a ball instead, sobbing in May’s arms, tears streaming down her cheeks as she squeezed them shut and tried to block it all out.
‘I love you, baby,’ Tom crooned, stroking her hair from her face.
