Page 63 of The Spitfire Girls
‘I can’t believe I didn’t know,’ Ruby said. ‘I’m so sorry for your loss, May. Truly. I wish I could think of the right words to say.’
May took a big breath. ‘He’s the reason I work such long hours, and the reason I’m so determined to keep you all safe,’ she said. ‘And it’s the same reason I never go home, even when I’m on leave in London. I just can’t deal with going back there – it seems harder than anything else I’ve faced.’ She looked stricken. ‘But hope can be a false friend, so I want you to be mindful of that.’
Ruby nodded, not about to pass judgement. If May couldn’t face going home because of her loss, then that was her business. She shuddered at the thought of having to come face to face with Tom’s mother, and a fresh wave of tears engulfed her. ‘How do you keep going?’ she asked. ‘How do you get yourself out of bed each day and face it all over again?’
May’s eyes shut for a moment before she answered. ‘Some days I don’t know the answer to that question, but mostly I think about my pilots here, and how I need to be strong for them. It gets me out of bed in the morning and keeps me going through the day. I hate the risks we take sometimes, but I do everything I can to keep my girls safe.’ She paused. ‘Come on now, let’s get you inside.’
Ruby walked in and was pleased to find only Polly there; the others were all out flying, but her friend must have delivered a plane and stayed to see her. She would make sure she was gone before the rest returned, still not ready to face anyone and to have to stay strong through their questions and sympathies.
‘You look like a girl who needs a good strong drink,’ Polly said, trading glances with May.
Ruby flopped into a chair, wrapping her arms tightly around herself; the cold seemed to seep into her bones. Polly curled up beside her, finding her hand and not letting go.
‘When do you leave?’ she heard May ask.
‘I’m taking the first lot of girls back later this afternoon with me,’ Polly replied.
‘Where are you going?’ Ruby mumbled.
‘Just back to White Waltham,’ Polly said with a yawn.
Ruby nodded as the two women chatted and laughed beside her, perhaps aware that she was craving normality so long as she didn’t have to be part of it.
He could still be alive, she said to herself, repeating the words over and over in her mind. No matter what May had said, she wasn’t about to give up hope, not yet.Please, God, please let Tom still be alive.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
TEXAS,SEPTEMBER1942
LIZZIE
‘Hey Daddy!’ Lizzie squealed, and threw her arms around her father, holding on to him tight.
‘Elizabeth! You’ll give the poor man another heart attack carrying on like that!’
Lizzie laughed at her mother, swatting her away with one hand as she held on to her father with the other. No matter what anyone said, she wasn’t letting go of him.
‘How’s things?’ she asked him.
‘Well, I’m feeling better about the fact that our forces are progressing through Europe. It’s about time we threw our weight around and helped the Allies win the war!’
Lizzie smiled. ‘I meantyou. How are things with you?’ she said. ‘I’m happy about the progress the Allies are making too, but right now I’m more interested in how your heart’s doing!’
He sat down and reached for his pipe, but Lizzie pushed it away.
‘Don’t you arrive home and go getting all bossy with me,’ he said.
‘Daddy, did the doctor say you could smoke?’
‘No, he didn’t,’ said her mother quietly, sitting down beside Lizzie.
Lizzie reached for her hand and then leaned in to kiss her cheek. ‘It’s so good to be home again,’ she whispered. ‘I miss you both so much whenever I’m away.’
Her mama kissed her back, then got up again. ‘I’ll get us all something to drink. You must be exhausted, Liz.’
Lizzie sat back and studied her father, hating how much he’d aged since she’d left. Before England, he’d seemed young and vibrant still, but now he was older, vulnerable even, and it was hard to accept.
‘Sweetheart, you’ve never told me about that first bomber flight. I want blow by blow details of how it all went down.’
