Page 39 of The Girls of Pearl Harbor
‘How did this happen to us?’ she whispered. ‘How did we go from having the time of our lives here to losing everything?’
Emotion lodged in her throat, but she did her best to breathe through it, wanting to talk to Teddy, suddenly needing to stay with him for as long as she could.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘I keep reliving that day, I keep remembering what happened, but nothing we did or didn’t do ...’ He shook his head. ‘Do you want me to take you to Tripler Hospital? Grace and April are both there, and I know they’ve been anxious to hear from you.’
Grace and April.Thank God they were okay. They must be struggling to cope after losing Poppy, and she bet they’d dealt with as many injured and dying men as she had. She sucked back a breath and clenched her fingers again.
‘Is there any chance I can see Charlie?’ she asked bravely. ‘Is there a morgue?’
Teddy grimaced. ‘If it’s what you want, I’ll find out for you. But it might take some time.’
‘I understand.’
‘Do you want me to take you to Tripler now?’
Just as Teddy finished speaking, the piercing sound of an air raid siren flooded the air around them.
‘Hell,’ Teddy swore, grabbing hold of her again and scanning the sky. ‘You need to go.’
Terror gripped Eva’s body as she looked upward, waiting for the planes, waiting for the menacing rain of bullets to start all over again.
‘Do you know how he died?’ she asked as Teddy pulled away from her.
‘He survived the first wave of bombings and made it to a plane to fight back,’ Teddy shouted as he ran backward. ‘He died a hero, Eva. An absolute goddamn hero. Now run!’
Eva held up her skirt and looked over her shoulder, not seeing anything as the siren continued to wail, and she ran as fast as her legs could carry her back to the boat. Their ship had been their safe haven throughout it all, the only vessel not to be hit, and she was terrified of not making it back.
But then another thought dawned on her. What if she didn’t make it back? What if she walked into the ocean or leaped from the harbor and gulped down water instead of air? What if she could end it all right now?
Her Charlie was gone, and that meant life wouldn’t be worth living for her. If she had to go home to her father, if she didn’t have Charlie to protect her ... she stopped running and shut her eyes.
Without Charlie, what was the point?
‘Hurry up!’ someone yelled and grabbed hold of her arm, fingers digging into her skin. ‘Can’t you hear the siren?’
Eva forced herself to move then, not wanting to slow anyone else down by dragging her feet.
‘Eva, do you want to come closer?’
Eva looked up, numb as she stared back at Grace and April. They were standing with Teddy, holding candles, their cheeks stained with tears as they held hands. She forced herself to walk closer, but her feet wouldn’t budge.
‘Eva?’ It was April this time, walking forward, her hands outstretched as she closed the distance between them.
Grace stayed with Teddy, and Eva could see that she was crying again, her chest visibly heaving as she sobbed, but he hooked an arm around her, and she almost envied her friend being held through her pain. It had been barely a week since her world had crashed down around her, but to her the pain felt as raw and fresh as if it had only just happened.
‘Tell me if you want to be alone, but I want you to know that we’re here for you.’
She could see April’s mouth moving, but it was almost impossible to hear her. There was a sound in her head, a roaring noise like the kind you could hear when you put your ear to a shell, only this was louder. And it hadn’t stopped since she’d found out about Charlie.
The first night, when it had started, she’d thought it was from being so tired, that it would be gone by morning, but every day and night since it had been there, and it still hadn’t stopped. Although maybe she hadn’t slept since then? She could barely remember.
‘Eva?’
She let April take her hand, wondering how her friend was holding it together so well. But then she saw a tear slip from her eye, then another and another, until she was steadily shedding tears in her own silent way.
Teddy met her gaze and nodded at her, and Grace grabbed her and held her so tight she couldn’t breathe. But Eva stood, lifeless, unable to respond.
Why couldn’tshecry? What was wrong with her? As soon as she’d gone back to theSolace, once her terror that another bombing was imminent after that awful air raid siren had passed, she’d gone cold. Her body was permanently numb, as if she were made of ice, and she’d wanted so desperately to collapse and sob her heart out, but nothing had happened.
