Page 15 of The Secrets We Left Behind
“About the men! We can’t just leave them out there, Elise!”
Elise gave her the same fixed, firm kind of look her mother had always given her. It was as if her mother had passed away and Elise had somehow morphed into her.
“There is nothing wecando, Addy. Don’t you see? If we go out there, the Germans could be watching, and the only way to stay safe is to keep our heads down and not draw attention to ourselves.”
Addy wiped away her tears with the back of her hands. “I can’t stop thinking about them,” she confessed.
Elise set down her spoon and reached across the table. Her palm was warm and she linked their fingers together. “I can’t stop thinking about it either, Addy. It’s running through my head over and over. But there’s nothing we can do. They’re already dead, so the best thing we can do is force our minds on to other things.”
Addy squeezed Elise’s hand, holding on to her for a moment longer before they both picked up their spoons and began to eat. She was so sick of soup, especially given their limited ingredients, but at least it temporarily quieted the growl in her stomach.
There was a noise outside, then a sudden thump, and it made Oscar bark.
“Enough!” Elise scolded.
When he didn’t stop straight away, Addy scooped him up and kept him on her lap as she ate. His warm little body was like aheater, and she liked the weight of him against her, even though her mother would have rolled in her grave to see a dog at her dining table. And it was also nice to hold him when she was scared; he always helped to calm her down.
There was another thump then, and Elise’s eyes met hers across the table. She could see that her sister’s spoon was shaking now, as if her tremble had been contagious. There was something,or someone, out there.
“Keep him quiet,” Elise said.
Addy nodded, not about to make a noise herself. Her heart was starting to beat fast and she could barely stomach another mouthful of her soup. They had so little, though, so she wasn’t going to let it go to waste.
Her imagination was working overtime, thinking of all the things that could be making that noise. Had some of the British soldiers miraculously survived? Were the Germans out there hauling the bodies away? Were there more men being killed? She shuddered at the last thought, willing it to go away.
“Is it morbid that I want to look outside so badly?” Addy asked.
Elise sighed and stood, taking both their bowls and walking them to the sink. “No, it’s not morbid at all. I’m going to go mad sitting in here with the curtains drawn, wondering what on earth is going on out there as we listen to every noise. But it’s dark and we don’t want anyone out there to see us in here, so for now, we pretend nothing has happened. And we ignore that god-awful noise.”
Easier said than done. Addy tried to take a leaf out of her sister’s book and busied herself with wiping down the table and going to dry the dishes, but it was a job that only took ten minutes between the pair of them. Soon they were both exchanging glances without saying anything, and both trying to ignore what could be going on. She only wished she had some of her sister’s strength.
When the rain started to fall more steadily, pounding out a constant beat on their old roof, Addy finally felt her nerves start to settle, and she snuggled up on her favorite chair, the one that had been her father’s until he died, patting her knee for Oscar to jump up.
Elise sat down beside her, and although they’d usually read a book or knit, or something other than just sit, tonight that was all they did. Hand in hand, side by side, they sat, listening to the rain, not a word said between them.
Knock, knock, knock.
Addy almost fell off her chair as Elise leapt to her feet. Her sister immediately took their father’s rifle from the wall where he’d always hung it, holding it out in front of her and checking it was loaded. An involuntary shiver peeled down Addy’s spine as Elise pushed the bolt forward before lifting the rifle high so she was staring down the barrel, the butt pressed into her shoulder.
The knocking echoed out louder this time, more like a loud thump, once, then twice.
“Keep the dog tight under your arm and slowly open the door,” Elise said.
Addy rose, obeying her sister’s orders. Her legs were like a newborn colt’s, knees knocking and wobbly as she inched her way across the room.
“Who could it be?” she whispered.
Elise didn’t reply straight away, moving behind her, the rifle positioned between them, like Addy’s own personal protection.
“I don’t know, but I’m not letting anyone storm into our house without a fight.”
Addy reached for the handle, extending her hand, fingers clenching around wood as she took a deep breath. If someone was determined to get in, she reasoned, then they would have simplykicked the door in, and it was that sudden realization that gave her confidence.
“We either wait in here, afraid, or we open the door and see who it is,” Elise said. “But if someone forces their way into our home, Iwillshoot.”
Addy nodded. She didn’t doubt her for a second, and when Elise nudged her with her shoulder, she knew it was a now-or-never moment.
“On three,” she whispered. “One, two ... three!” She yanked it back, and then almost fell straight out the door, she was so taken by surprise.
