Page 4 of The Secrets We Left Behind
She took a deep, cautious breath. “I will,” she replied. “Jack, I promise you, I will.”
She gave him one last glance, a knot forming in her stomach as she digested what he’d said. Although she tried to remain as positive as possible, his words cut deep. She’d hoped that the evacuation was as much a precaution as anything, but the tension amongst the doctors had been taut enough to cut with a knife earlier, and it had her worried. And now hearing Jack reiterate what she’d already heard ... She squeezed her eyes shut for a beat, trying to push the thoughts away.
Werethey going to be sitting ducks for the enemy? Why was nobody telling them the truth? Or were the doctors in the dark, too?
She crossed paths with Lilly as she followed the doctors to one of the makeshift operating theaters downstairs in the chateau. As she stepped into the room, a parlor from the looks of it, with most of the furniture pushed to the sides and stacked to make space,she saw a soldier with medals on his jacket standing there, clearly someone highly ranked.
She gulped, knowing instinctively that the news would be bad.Jack’s right.
“Everyone, this is Captain Beaumont,” Doctor Connor, who’d summoned them all, said as he shut the door behind them. She doubted it would give them complete privacy, knowing his booming voice would probably carry to the patients in the adjoining room. “Unfortunately he has a rather sobering message to share with us all.”
Lilly’s fingers suddenly caught hers, and Cate leaned into her, their shoulders pressed together and hands clasped as they listened. They would have heard a pin drop, despite the number of nurses, orderlies and doctors crammed into the small space. She caught another nurse’s eye across the room and gave her a small smile; the other woman looked even more terrified than Cate felt.
“As some of you may have heard, the urgent evacuation of British soldiers from France has begun,” the captain said. “As I speak, soldiers are gathering on the beach at Dunkirk.”
Cate saw the shake of his hand as he held a piece of paper, about to read to them all. She hated to think what would make a soldier of his rank tremble.
“Unfortunately, the port and beach are now full of men waiting to be evacuated to the point of overflowing, and the situation is only going to get worse. There is provision for some of you to leave; however, we will not be taking any patients who cannot make their own way to the beach. In short, many of them will have to stay behind despite our best efforts to accommodate everyone, and we need medical personnel to look after our injured. A minimum ratio of one doctor and ten orderlies for every hundred patients will be enforced.”
Cate held Lilly’s hand tighter as she heard her stifle a sob. She didn’t look at her, not wanting to see her tears or be confronted by her friend’s pain. It was the only way she could hold her own emotions in check.
So it’s true, it’s over for us in France.
“While it is realized that this will mean inevitable capture for you, it is hoped that you will uphold the traditions of the Royal Army Medical Corps. More men will be sent to you as they arrive, and we thank you for your service. The work you are doing is essential during these trying times. God speed.”
That was it? That was the message for them? Cate went to open her mouth, to say something,anything, but it was so dry she couldn’t make a sound.We’re going to be left behind? Surely it can’t be true?
“You’re going to leave nurses here?Women?” one of the doctors cried. “We might be able to survive behind barbed wire until the end of the war, but do you think the Germans are going to play by the rules with our women? It’s barbaric!”
Lilly started to cry again and Cate took her into her arms, holding her and rubbing her back in large circles. He was right; what would become of them if they were taken by the enemy? She swallowed away her own emotion as she listened to the captain continue.
“There’s no need for hysteria. I want you all to remain calm,” he said. “I suggest drawing straws to decide who remains, but there will be no more patients transported for evacuation; the only way they leave is if they can walk themselves. Their fate has been decided, so straws are only needed for medics, orderlies and perhaps a couple of nurses. You should expect at the very least a few hundred patients, so I suggest three or four doctors and at least thirty orderlies.”
“So what you’re saying is that the British army has given up on us?” the same doctor asked. “We’re bloody well stuck here, with only the grace of God to count on?”
Cate could read between the lines—the British army had as good as given up on thewar, not just them, if they were going to leave their men behind and admit defeat on French soil. How could this have happened? What if the evacuation wasn’t successful? How many of them would be left behind then?
The captain frowned, but there was something in his eyes, something about the way he went still and stared straight at the doctor who’d asked the question.He’s right.Theyhadgiven up on them.
“We’ve been outnumbered and outwitted at every turn, and there is no way we can hold the lines,” Captain Beaumont said, rubbing his chin. “The French army will hold them off for as long as they can to enable our evacuation, and the success of this war depends on us getting as many men out as possible. We are facing the biggest evacuation imaginable to get our troops home, and our focus is on getting those men waiting in lines on the beach into vessels.”
“What of the other clearance hospitals?” another doctor asked.
“Some were evacuated at Calais a few days ago, before the situation there became untenable, and others are being evacuated immediately, including one located in a hotel by the beach.” The captain’s expression was grim. “French medics are faced with the decision to either run home immediately or remain at their posts, and that will be their personal choice, but there will be no other British medical personnel staying behind. You are the last remaining hospital, which means the fate of all our injured will rest entirely on your shoulders. I dare say the adjoining French clearance hospital will be available for use by this afternoon, and you’ll no doubt need the extra space.”
The doctors and orderlies around them either erupted into dissent or went strangely quiet, and the other nurses came closer to stand in a huddle. There were six of them still left, and they’d all become as close as sisters during their time together.
“They’re not really going to make us stay, are they?” one of them sobbed. “I didn’t sign up for this! I want to go home!”
Cate swallowed, not sure what to say in reply. In truth, theyhadall signed up for whatever conditions the war would bring, although it had always been a given that the vivid red cross on the side of a tent or ship would supposedly offer protection from a direct attack. That had been something they’d prepared for—an unexpected bombing, for instance. But if they were simply left behind for the enemy? A shiver ran through her. There would be no one left to protect them if that happened, which could mean a bayonet or bullet for any of them. Orworse. All these hours of trying to stay positive, of trying not to listen to the rumors swirling amongst the men as they’d traveled to set up their new hospital, and the decision had already been made to leave them behind. Jack had been right; they were going to be sitting ducks for the Germans. They didn’t stand a chance.
As the room fell silent and the captain took his leave, Cate slowly let go of Lilly and stood straight, watching Doctor Connor who, up until that moment, had run a very tight, smooth-sailing ship. Their hospital had been chaotic at times, filled with more bodies than she’d ever imagined possible, but he’d always managed to keep things running in an organized manner. They’d been treated fairly, he was tireless as a surgeon in his efforts to save both limb and life, and she knew that he had a family at home waiting for him, which meant that he’d do anything to get them all evacuated if he could.
“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but as you heard it has been decided that we draw straws to see who stays behind,” he said, before lowering his voice. “Nurses included.”
Lilly gasped beside her, and one of the other nurses sobbed loudly. Cate just wound her arms tightly around herself again, waiting, trying to calm her breathing.
“Those of us who stay behind will do what we’ve always done, and that is to carry on as before. We shall ease the pain of the dying and do what we can for those we can save.” His eyes shone with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry.”
