Page 46 of The Secrets We Left Behind
“They were good parents?” Harry asked.
“They were. I had a beautiful childhood filled with laughter, love and great food. I couldn’t have asked for more.”
They both sat quietly again, only the silence wasn’t so easy this time.
“You know, Cate and Jack, they should have made for the beach at Dunkirk,” Harry said, as he slowly rose. “Instead, they ran straight into the lion’s den.”
Elise gulped. “Should I have evacuated my sister, too? Should we have made for Belgium, or—”
“You would have only been heading into enemy lines there, too, and you’d have been turned straight back,” Harry said. “Nowhere is safe, not unless you’re on a boat traveling far from here, but we have this saying at home—better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”
Elise met his stare. “You’re saying I’m safer staying with this devil? Being at home here?”
He nodded. “I’m saying that two beautiful young women aren’t safe anywhere right now, but at least here you know the lay of the land, and the Germans have no reason not to like you.”
“But they have every reason to dislike you,” she said. “And Cate and Jack.”
It hung between them, that knowledge that two of the people hiding in her home had actually had a chance to get away. Butinstead, they’d managed to somehow survive the worst decision possible.
“You have to wonder how they ever made it here,” said Elise. “How they managed to keep walking with Nazis at every turn.”
“Maybe they’ve got luck on their side,” he said. “A guardian angel looking out for them.”
Any other time she’d have wondered if he was teasing her, but there was nothing amusing about two people surviving against all the odds.
“Are you going to tell them they made a huge mistake, or am I?” Elise asked.
“Neither of us are,” he said firmly. “Because if Jack wakes up and finds that out, he’ll never forgive himself.”
Elise didn’t say anything else. It was abundantly obvious that Harry knew all about not being able to forgive oneself, which made him the expert on the matter, not her.
“Goodnight, Elise.”
She dragged her eyes slowly over his face in the low light of the lamp, at the way his shirt fell with one arm tucked up high in the sling Cate had made for him. Even one-armed and with a bruise circling his eye, he was still the most handsome man she’d ever clapped eyes on.
“Goodnight, Harry.”
And as he quietly disappeared, she laid her cheek flat to the table, closing her eyes and feeling the night’s silence surround her.
What have I done?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CATE
It had been two days since they’d arrived in Le Paradis, and Cate was starting to understand the meaning of claustrophobia. She supposed she could go outside briefly if she wanted to; she was supposed to be the cousin of Elise and Adelaide, after all, but she was terrified now of being found out. Those first hours after they’d arrived, she’d kept her head, focusing on her job and doing what she knew so well. But once she’d finally gone to bed that night and slept, fitfully despite the comfortable surroundings, all she’d been able to see in her head were the people she’d left behind. They were coming to her in her dreams, calling for her, asking her why she’d left them. She kept seeing patients bleeding, crying in pain, and her feet wouldn’t move, like she was stuck in quicksand.
That’s what you get for abandoning everyone.
The attic was dark with the blinds pulled, and although she longed to let the light in and breathe fresh air, she wanted to keep it comfortable for Jack. They’d managed to carry him up the night before, terrified he’d be discovered downstairs if they had a surprise visitor. He’d slept fitfully in the beginning, too, but then he’d eased into a much more settled slumber. At times she’d wondered whetherhe would ever wake, but he’d stirred twice now, long enough for her to spoon some water into his mouth and wipe his brow before he fell asleep again.
Cate sat beside him, peering at his face and seeing there was no longer a wet line beading across his forehead. Her hope was that any fever he’d had had broken; a quick look under his bandages would tell her if there was an infection, but she didn’t want to rouse him, not when he was sleeping so peacefully. Instead she reached inside the shirt she was wearing for her ring, tugging gently at the chain that kept it around her neck. She closed her fingers around it and thought of Charlie, but her hand fell away like it had been burnt when Jack’s face swam in her gaze.
It’s because I’m looking after him, tending to him so often, she told herself.I need more to eat and I need to sleep properly. Charlie will come back to me then.
As if to placate the voice in her head, she lifted her legs up on to the bed and lay her head down on the pillow. She’d been reluctant to sleep again because she didn’t want to leave Jack, and she reasoned with herself that there would be no hardship in sharing the bed with him. They were both fully clothed, she didn’t need to pull the blanket on to herself, and the door was open. Not that anyone downstairs probably could have cared less what she did with Jack in the privacy of a room, but still, it meant something to her.
She lay on her back for a moment before wrestling with the notion of how cold she was, and how warm Jack would be to curl up beside. Cate moved slowly, inching across the bed until she was touching him, and finally placing her arm slightly across his chest, her body curled into his like a spoon nestling against him. And she hadn’t been wrong; the heat from him warmed her almost instantly, and even though he made her heart race for another reason entirely, it did stop the panicked thud of fear inside of her.
