Page 5 of The Secrets We Left Behind
Cate found herself nodding, even as her teeth chattered and her fingers inched tighter around her body. There would be no last-minute change of heart; some of them would be staying. Their fate had well and truly been decided for them.
She watched as he fumbled for a splint, usually used for broken bones, and she listened as he snapped part of it into small lengths.
This is actually happening. We’re being left behind.
The doctors went first, and they all stood in quiet solidarity as they picked their lengths. Two of the doctors were ashen-faced as they held the small sticks, and Cate’s stomach suddenly twisted into knots as she watched relief on the faces of some and terror in others.
Then Doctor Connor moved to the orderlies, and the same process was followed, until it was finally time for the nurses.
“Let’s make this quick, ladies,” Doctor Connor said, and Cate smiled at him as he wiped tears from his eyes. He was old enough to be her father, and she wondered if his daughters were a similar age to them, if that was why he was so upset about any of his nurses being left behind. “Only one of you has to stay, orders be damned. I want the rest of you to have the best chance of getting out of here.”
“I’ll go first,” Cate said bravely, stepping forward, wanting to get her turn over and done with.
Her hand shook as she reached, pulling out a stick, her breathing ragged as she slowly looked down at it.
No.
Oh my God, no!
She stared at the short, stubby stick, at the doctor’s palm as he slowly opened it to show her that all the rest were long.
“Cate, I’m so sorry,” he said.
She heard someone speak, but suddenly there was a loud whooshing sound in her ears, like the ocean roaring right beside her, the waves crashing into her eardrums. Blood rushed to her head and she swayed as the reality of her luck hit hard. Not the first stick. The first couldn’t be the shortest!
It’s me. I’m the one who has to stay behind.
Suddenly all she wanted to do was run.
A loud bang echoed out then, the explosion so close she almost felt it rattle her teeth, followed by shouts. She walked quickly, following the crowd of orderlies, and saw one of the doctors, a fellow drawer of a short straw, lying in a pool of his own blood in the kitchen of all places, half of his head blown off by the gun he’d used to take his own life. And just like that, he’d sealed the fate of another doctor who’d thought he was about to be evacuated.
That was all she needed to see to tell her how bad it was going to be. To see a doctor in his prime kill himself rather than be left behind ... She swallowed and looked away.
“Those of you leaving, go now with Captain Beaumont. I’m staying behind,” Doctor Connor muttered. “I’m not making another one of you pull a goddamn straw to take that man’s place. And Captain, I’m making the executive decision that no nurse will be left behind! I don’t give a damn about that particular order, and you can either have me arrested or accept my decision.”
Cate paused, heart pounding, as she looked between the two men. They were facing off like two roosters, both with a steely glint in their eyes, determined to win the fight.
“It’s fine, I’ll stay,” she finally said, when the captain refused to answer and Doctor Connor appeared to refuse to back down. “My patients need me, and I want to stay and help. I drew the short straw and I accept that.”
Doctor Connor looked at her, and she forced herself to look away before she started to cry. “You’re certain? Because I’m notgoing to make any woman stay. You can walk out that door with the rest of them and I won’t be calling you back.”
She breathed deeply, forcing herself to nod. If not her, then another orderly would have to stay behind, and she didn’t want special treatment for being a woman. Perhaps she was naïve, but she refused to believe they would be overrun with the enemy. “Yes sir, I’m certain.”
Cate walked numbly back to the large room where the patients were, ignoring the other nurses as they scurried around her and walking straight back toward Jack instead. Chaos erupted as injured men suddenly started to fill the room and the hallway, as shooting and more explosions echoed out much closer than she’d ever heard before, constant booms like fireworks in the sky. If it was this loud inside a building, she hated to think what it would have sounded like from a tent.
Soon, she would have so many casualties to deal with that it would at least take her mind off her predicament, but for now, she was still in shock.
“They’re coming for us, aren’t they?”
She reached for Jack’s hand when she got to his bed, winding her fingers tightly through his. “Yes,” she whispered back, not about to hide the truth from him. “They’re coming, and we’re being left behind.”
His face told her everything she needed to know. Jack had seen war; he’d been left bloodied and broken from his time fighting the enemy. He knew better than anyone else what was in store for them.
“You can’t stay,” he said, squeezing her hand so tightly that it hurt. “You need to find a way to go. Cate, you have to go!”
Cate shook her head. “I can’t.” Tears flooded her eyes and she quickly blinked them away, not about to break down in front of him. “I’m staying, and that’s just the way it is.”
Jack had tears in his eyes now too, but he was even faster to blink than she was. “There’s no way they’ll get all those men out. They won’t have enough time. They’ll be slaughtered on the beach.”
