Page 61 of The Secrets We Left Behind
She rolled her eyes. “I’m serious, Jack. It’s a miracle you’ve survived all this, so please just be careful. The longer you stay in bed—”
“I know, I know,” he said, throwing his hands in the air. “I promise I’ll follow orders.”
Cate heard Elise downstairs, but she decided to sit with Jack a moment longer before going down. Since the morning she’d woken lying in bed with him, she’d barely touched him, other than to routinely check his wounds, and she found herself aching to connect with him.
Her heart was still brimming for Charlie, the pain of losing him, losing the life they’d planned together; still raw. She’d kept up with the pretense that he might be alive for Lilly’s sake more than anything, knowing in her heart there was little chance he’d survived, and now that she was alone without Lilly, she felt more than ever that he was truly gone. Jack made her feel something that Charlie never had, and she couldn’t pretend it wasn’t true. She only wished she’d known what had happened to Charlie, to have that closure, to know for sure. He’d been such a good man; even walking by his side had made her feel safe, the total opposite of her father, which was why she’d always been drawn to him. Why she’d said yes to marrying him when he’d asked, even though she’d wondered if it were enough to be fond of someone rather than in love.
And then there was Jack. Jack who made her feel things she’d never felt before, but who scared her more than anything. Because with Jack, she felt everything: every brush of his skin to hers, every look, every moment. There was nothing safe about her feelings for Jack. She sat just far enough away from him that they weren’t touching, her palm on the bed, fingers waiting to sneak over to his.
“I don’t know how we’re ever going to get out of here, Jack,” she said, keeping her voice low.
“I should have taken us to the beach that day,” he said, shutting his eyes as if he were in pain. “I should never have brought us here. Knowing all those soldiers were evacuated ...”
“Stop.” She did let her fingers dance toward his then, holding on to him. “We don’t know if we would have got there in time. I just keep thinking about Lilly and hoping she made it, that somehow she got there and made it on to a boat.”
Jack didn’t try to reassure her; and he couldn’t have even if he wanted to. There was no way of knowing whether she’d gotten there or not.
Jack moved his hand out from beneath hers, palm closing over the back of it as he lifted it and pressed a slow, warm kiss to her skin. Her heart started to beat erratically as her breath caught in her throat, and she summoned all her courage to do something she’d never thought she’d be brave enough to do.
He seemed to sense it, but he stayed still and let her come to him, her mouth parting and slowly touching his, her lips moving slowly, hesitantly. It was clumsy at first, he not moving and she not sure, not having kissed anyone but Charlie before, but the moment his arms reached for her, everything changed. One minute she was sitting beside him, the next she was rising and moving closer to him, sitting on his thighs as his hands buried themselves in her hair, as his lips started to dance more knowingly against hers.
“Cate!”
The call was so close she leapt up, bumping her head on the low ceiling above his bed, making them both laugh even as she winced in pain. But before she could move too far away, Jack caught her hand, kissing the inside of her wrist this time and sending fireflies into her belly as his eyes stayed locked on hers.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since the first day I saw you,” he whispered. “You walked past my hospital bed, and you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.”
“You were delirious on morphine,” she murmured back.
“I wasn’t then, and I’m sure as hell not now.”
Cate bent, slowly, bravely, pressing one final kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Be careful,” he said.
“You know I will be.”
“Take this,” he said, taking a small blade from beneath his pillow, something she hadn’t even known he possessed. “Just flick it like this,” he said, demonstrating a fast flick of his wrist, “and don’t think, just act.”
Cate took it, not asking questions, not wanting to think about what situation she might be in to need to use it. “I will.”
Walking away from Jack was one of the hardest things she’d ever done, but once she started moving, she didn’t look back.
“There you are,” Elise said, standing at the top of the stairs. “Everything all right?”
Cate blinked away her tears and cleared her throat. “I’m fine. Or at least I will be. What did you find out?”
“St.Venant has definitely fallen—it must have been where I heard all the fighting the day before you arrived,” Elise said, frowning. “There were hundreds of British soldiers there before the Germans took control, maybe close to a thousand, and only a few got away.”
“The rest were killed?” Gooseflesh punctuated Cate’s skin.
Elise lowered her voice. “Rumor has it that some were executed instead of being taken prisoner of war.”
“You think it was Wolfgang there too, don’t you?”
Elise’s expression said it all. “I think he’s dangerous and I don’t want my sister anywhere near him, but it could easily have been another commander. Perhaps they’re all the same?”
“So where are we heading to? Are we still going?” Cate asked.
