Page 40 of The London Girls
I have two other brothers over there, too. What if neither of them makes it home? What if we have to go through this again with them, as well? What if I’m the only one left?
A shuffling sound made her look up then, and she saw two little faces peering around the door, wide-eyed. She rose, leaving Leo to console her parents. She’d been so caught up in the news of her brother that she’d forgotten about the two children they’d taken in since she’d been gone.
‘Hello,’ she said, bending to their level as they blinked back at her. ‘I’m Olivia.’
They shuffled closer together, but neither of the children spoke. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she’d dreamed of becoming ateacher; she’d always loved children and had liked the idea of teaching before having her own family, but the war had scuppered her plans.
‘Tell me, do you like cake?’ she whispered, leaning forward with her hand half cupping her mouth, as if she were telling them a secret.
They both nodded.
‘Well, how about you go up to your room and I’ll bring you each a piece.’ It seemed a shame to waste the cake when there were two scared children in the house.
They both smiled and she watched them run up the stairs, waiting until they’d disappeared before going to cut them a slice. They were no doubt heartbroken about being sent away from their parents to live with strangers, and scared about what they’d been listening to from their spot in the hall, but while she was there, she’d do everything she could to make them smile.
As far as she was concerned, it was the least she could do.
‘It all just seems like a bad dream.’ Olivia sat on the large wooden seat in the garden with Leo, tucked against him, his arm looped protectively around her waist. They’d come outside after it had become almost unbearable to be around her parents at the table any longer, and once the children were tucked up in bed. She’d needed some time with Leo and for her own thoughts, and after cleaning up the dinner dishes, they’d decided to go outside for some air.
‘Nothing about losing Pete seems real.’
She’d never seen Leo cry before; like her brother, he always seemed perpetually upbeat, always smiling, always happy no matter what the day. He was always the last to leave a dance, the first tosuggest playing games or to strip off his clothes to swim in the river on a hot summer’s day. But there was a seriousness about Leo now that hadn’t been there when he’d left for the war; he seemed more mature somehow, and his red-rimmed eyes told her that he’d shed just as many tears as her family had. She hated to think what he’d seen, what he’d been through in the months since he’d left home.
‘I wish you could stay for longer,’ she said. ‘I don’t know how I’m going to say goodbye to you all over again.’ She sucked back a breath as fresh tears threatened to fall. ‘If I’m honest, I don’t think I know how to live without him.’
Leo’s lips brushed her forehead, his arm tightening around her. ‘You and me both, Liv,’ he whispered. ‘You and me both.’
She tucked even closer against him, trying to convince herself that he was real, but as much as she didn’t want Leo to be a dream, she wanted the news he’d brought with him to be one. Because every time she caught herself thinking how lucky she was to have him home, she was reminded why he was here. And then emotion would catch in her throat all over again and she’d find herself swallowing enormous gulps of sadness.
‘I’m so happy you’re here, but—’ She choked on the words.
‘It’s bittersweet, isn’t it?’ His fingers thrummed against her waist, a gentle reminder that he was in fact real, that he was indeed sitting beside her, holding her, comforting her.
‘It is.’ She stared out into the night. ‘I imagined Pete being there at our wedding, toasting us and laughing, sharing stories about how his best friend somehow fell in love with his sister. I can’t imagine him not being there for everything.’
Leo’s laugh was low, and she tipped her head to his shoulder. ‘Do you remember how nervous I was, asking him for permission to take you to a dance that first time? I genuinely thought he was going to kill me.’
She laughed. ‘Yes! I remember watching you from the staircase, leaning out to listen to what you were going to say to him, and you could barely get the words out!’
‘I’ll never forget the way he grinned,’ Leo said. ‘Telling me that I’d better do right by you, because he couldn’t think of anything better than having me as a brother-in-law. All those weeks of wanting to ask you out, worried that he’d hate me for it, when in fact he couldn’t have been happier for us.’
Olivia absently fingered the ring hanging around her neck, and Leo seemed to notice because he leaned back a little and reached out to touch it, too.
‘I was able to wear it until I took this new job, but now I keep it around my neck, just to make sure it’s safe.’
He nodded, a half-smile making his mouth appear crooked. ‘You can wear it any way you like, Olivia.’
She grinned. ‘Leo—’
‘Liv—’
They both smiled. ‘You go first,’ she said.
‘I know it’s terrible timing, what with Pete and everything, but I don’t know when I’ll next be home, or what might even happen between now and then, and I just, well ...’
She sat patiently, taking his hand as she waited for him to find the words. But instead of holding her hand he abruptly stood and paced a few steps away, before turning back around to her. His frown scared her.
‘You don’t want to end our engagement, do you?’ She tried to stop the crack in her voice, but it was impossible.Please God, not more bad news in one night!
