Page 56 of The London Girls
She’d tried so hard to hold it all in, to stop the tears, but when Jack’s arms came around her, holding her and cradling her to his chest, she stopped trying and gave in.
‘Shh,’ he murmured, rubbing big circles on her back. ‘It’s been an awful night, but we did everything we could. There was nothing more we could have done.’
Florence clung to Jack and cried until his shirt was wet and she had no tears left to shed. Since she’d lost her parents, she’d tried to stay strong for her grandmother – had forced herself to carry on even though most days she wished she’d perished with them. But seeing Leo had been the last straw for her, the ultimate act of cruelty in a world that had done little but take from her over the past few months.
Her sobs had finally eased, turning into hiccups of air that were gently shuddering from her lips, and she pressed her cheek to Jack’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
‘Earlier tonight,’ she started, taking a deep breath, ‘I saw a man I knew.’
Jack’s hand stopped tracing circles on her back. ‘Why didn’t you say something?’
She should have, but at the time she’d thought that if she told him then she’d break down and not be able to do her job – would have been useless to him when he’d needed her the most. ‘I couldn’t. I just ...’ Sheshouldhave told him. ‘It was Leo.’
‘Leo?’ Jack repeated, but as his hands ran down her arms, he suddenly stopped. ‘Your friend’s husband?’
Florence hadn’t thought she had any tears left, but just hearing him say the wordhusbandbrought it all back to her, her eyes damp again as they started to slip down her cheeks.
‘Let me take you home,’ he said, turning her slightly but keeping her firmly at his side. She let him walk her back to the ambulance, trying not to look at the bodies they passed, trying not tosee their faces, eyes open and faces smudged with dirt. She didn’t complain when he put her in the passenger seat, and she tucked her knees up tightly to her chest, shivering violently as he got into the driver’s side.
It seemed like they were in Petal for hours. Jack asked her if she was cold and what her address was, but otherwise they drove in silence until he pulled up outside her grandmother’s house. Florence lifted her head, staring out of the window as rain began to fall, blurring the glass as she listened to Jack get out, registering the fact that he was opening her door.
Florence didn’t resist when he scooped her into his arms, carrying her from the ambulance as if she weighed no more than a child. She wanted to tell him she could walk, that he didn’t need to look after her, but she couldn’t seem to utter a word.
Somehow he knocked on the door without putting her down, and she leaned into his chest even as she heard her grandmother speaking and Ava come running.
‘Is she all right? Oh, good lord, what happened?’
‘My guess is she’s in shock. Upstairs or down?’
‘Upstairs. Her room is on the right.’
Florence listened, not protesting when he carried her into her room and placed her gently on the bed, as he carefully removed her shoes and pulled a blanket over her, his hands lingering as he tucked it around her shoulders. As Ava called out that she was just down the hall if anyone needed her.
But instead of leaving her, of hearing his footsteps cross the room and the door shut behind him, she heard Jack settling into the chair that was barely large enough to hold him. She could sense him there even though she kept her eyes tightly shut, wanting to block the world out for as long as she could, knowing that when she finally admitted what had happened, she would have to be the one to go and break the news to Olivia.I can’t do this job anylonger, I can’t go out there another night. I can’t get in that ambulance ever again.
‘Florence, I need to tell you something,’ Jack said.
She curled into an even tighter ball, her eyes still shut, but she was listening. He pulled the chair closer, the legs dragging on the wooden floor.
‘I know you’ve noticed the way I walk,’ he started, clearing his throat. ‘Most people assume I was injured serving, but the truth is I didn’t get a mark on me on the front lines, because I was never able to go. My injuries happened just before the war began.’
Florence wanted to sit up and listen to him, to show him that she cared, but for some reason she couldn’t seem to move.
‘I had a wife and a daughter, and I loved them both more than I could ever tell you. But one night, when I was working late, I didn’t get home in time.’ He cleared his throat, as if it was hard to get the words out. ‘I was hurrying back, I heard sirens, and I just had this terrible feeling that it was my house. I started to run, and when I turned into my street, when I saw the fire engines outside my home ...’
Jack was silent a long while, and even with her head tucked into the pillow she could still hear the whoosh of his breath, in and out. She heard movement and guessed he’d dropped his head into his hands, or perhaps pressed his palms into his knees.
‘The closer I got, I just knew that my life was over.’
Florence forced herself up then, clutching the covers to her as she stared at Jack, into eyes that were full of such sadness they almost made her forget her own grief.
‘I was too late, but I refused to admit it,’ he said. ‘I ran into the house – what was left of it – and started digging, screaming for my family as the fire spread. I found my baby. I found her and I carried her out, and when the firemen came across me I was holding her body in my arms and I didn’t even know how badly burned I was.’
She blinked, staring at him, her voice catching in her throat when she tried to tell him how sorry she was.
‘It’s why I limp so badly now. I was so badly burned I almost lost my leg. They kept telling me what a miracle it was that I was able to keep it. But I couldn’t have given a damn about my leg; it wasn’t the miracle I’d been praying for.’
Florence pushed the covers down and swung her legs over the side of the bed, staring at Jack a long moment before going to him and folding herself into his lap, her arms circling his neck as his seemed to instinctively wrap around her waist. It was only now she realised she hadn’t even thought about him driving her, and how difficult that must have been for him.
