Page 64 of The London Girls
Florence heard Jack move closer, and she busied herself with making sure the water was soapy enough, not sure what to do with him being so near to her and suddenly losing all her words.
‘You know, you didn’t have to stay. You could have woken William up,’ she said. ‘It’s not like you get many nights off, and the last two must have been ...’ Florence shook her head. She shut her eyes for a moment, feeling such a coward for hiding in a bomb shelter when she should have been out with him, driving her ambulance.
‘I know you feel guilty about not coming back to work, but you don’t have to,’ Jack replied, standing so close now that, when she took a deep breath, she could feel his shoulder touch hers. ‘You’ve been through so much.’
There were so many things she could have said, but for some reason she couldn’t utter a word.
‘Florence.’ He said her name as if it were a question, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up at him.
‘Mmm,’ she murmured, reaching for a plate and soaping it up before rinsing it, her pulse starting to race.
She instinctively passed it to him, as she would her grandmother if they were washing dishes together, but although he took the plate, Jack also took her hand.
‘Florence,’ he said again, more quietly this time, his fingers slipping slightly on hers thanks to all the soap suds.
This time she did look up, turning slightly and seeing a warmth in his eyes that terrified her as much as it pulled her in.
‘I’m sorry I kept William a secret from you. Talking isn’t my strong suit, in case you hadn’t noticed.’
‘Oh, I’d noticed,’ she whispered back.
Jack’s hand lifted, cupping her cheek as he gazed down at her. And then, without another thought, she stepped into him as his other arm curled gently around her waist, pulling her in as his lips met hers. Their kiss was slow and warm, so unhurried that it made her relax against him, his lips brushing against hers then stopping for a moment, his breath ragged against her mouth before he kissed her all over again.
When it was finally over, instead of turning back to the sink or backing away, she clutched the front of his shirt in one hand and pressed her cheek to his chest, letting him hold her as if they were slow-dancing in one another’s arms.
This time, his lips found the top of her head instead of her mouth, and they stood there together until the water went cold, until Jack took her hand and led her to the sofa and they both sat down. His arm stretched along the back of the sofa, and even though her instinct was to still be shy around him, she moved closer. When his fingers brushed her shoulder, she kicked off hershoes and curled her feet up, wriggling until she was leaning against him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do.
‘We really should get some sleep,’ he said, his lips finding her hair again as she nestled even closer. ‘The sirens will be going off before we know it.’
‘I’m so tired, but somehow not remotely sleepy either,’ she said.
‘I know the feeling.’ Jack chuckled and she could hear the sound through his chest, against her ear.
‘I can’t stop thinking about William losing his mother. How old was he when she died?’ she whispered, almost too scared to ask but wanting to know everything about him.
‘William was four, and our daughter had just turned two.’ She felt his body tense as he spoke about them.
‘That must have been so hard for him, and for you.’ She took a deep breath. ‘My sister, she was sixteen. There were only four years between us, but she’d always been the baby of the family. Had us all wrapped around her little finger.’
Jack started to stroke her arm, and she lay there, listening to the steady beat of his heart, talking in a way he hadn’t to anyone since the night he’d lost them.
‘Do you ever just want to scream at people – people just living their lives?’ he asked. ‘Those first few months when I got out of hospital, I hated seeing people doing normal things when my Andrea and Cindy had been taken from me like that. I wanted everyone to see my pain, but then when I left the hospital, I suddenly couldn’t bear to see William. It hurt too much, knowing I couldn’t save the rest of our family, knowing he was going to grow up without his mother, and that I should have been able to save her.’ He cleared his throat. ‘The only thing that helped was rum, and I wouldn’t let him see me like that.’
Florence nodded against his chest. ‘Everyone says the pain will get easier with time, but it’s a lie. It never does.’
‘I miss you,’ he whispered into her hair. ‘Every night, I miss being in the ambulance with you.’
Tears filled her eyes. ‘I miss you, too.’
Jack continued to stroke her skin, and she found herself absently trailing her fingers over his hand, the one he had resting on his thigh. And they talked about everything and anything, even as the sky started to lighten outside, before she finally fell asleep in his arms.
It seemed only a minute had passed since she’d closed her eyes when she woke to the creak of the stairs.
‘What happened to the dishes?’
Florence blinked and sat up a little as her grandmother threw her hands into the air before turning to see them curled up on the sofa, Jack still fast asleep. Florence looked over and saw that William was still sound asleep in the chair as well.
Their eyes met, and she knew her grandmother understood when she smiled at her.
