Page 78 of The London Girls
Ava hoped her cheeks didn’t flush and give her away. ‘She said that to you?’
‘She did.’
‘Actually, if you must know, I went to talk to him about returning to work.’
She may as well have dropped a bomb in the kitchen. Florence’s face looked like it was about to explode.
‘Return towork?’ she repeated.
‘Mmm-hmm.’
‘Ava, are you crazy? You could have died, and instead of taking your recovery seriously, you’re trying to figure out when you canreturn?’
‘It seems you and George are on the same page where I’m concerned, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.’
She turned her back to Florence, not wanting to argue with her. Her hands shook as she scooped tea into the pot, not trusting her voice to ask if Florence wanted a cup, so making extra anyway.
‘Ava,’ Florence said. ‘Please can you—’
She spun around, her eyes burning as she lost the battle against her emotions. ‘Stop telling me what to do! I know I’ve been injured,I know I need to be grateful that I survived and to look after myself, but I also can’t stand the thought of another week in bed!’
Florence looked like she’d been punched in the stomach, and Ava immediately regretted hurling words at her like that.
‘Flo, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.’ She quickly wiped her cheeks with her knuckles. ‘I’m just frustrated and my head hurts and—’
‘Have you ever, just once, thought about how I felt finding your motorcycle that morning? The terror I felt? The pain in my heart when I thought you were dead?’ Florence shook her head, madder than Ava had ever seen her before. ‘I lost my family last year, Ava. I lost the people I love. I lost them because there wasnothingI could do to save them, and I thought I was about to go through that all over again with you. But somehow, by some miracle, you survived, and Iwasable to save you.’
‘And I’m so grateful that you did,’ Ava whispered.
‘Then why don’t you show me and your body some damn respect and stay in your damn bed!’
Ava had never heard Florence yell at anyone before, and the anger flashing in her eyes took her by surprise.
‘You want to know why I went to see George today? Why I want to go back out there again?’ she asked.
‘Please, enlighten me,’ Florence muttered.
‘It’s because I can’t stop thinking about the crash either. It’s because every time I shut my eyes, I see it happening; I see myself trying to drag myself up, managing to make it all that way to deliver the memo with my head bleeding,’ she whispered. ‘I thought I was going to die, and I’m so terrified of getting back on a motorcycle, Flo. I’m worried that if I don’t do it soon, I’ll lose my nerve completely and I’ll never be able to do it again.’ She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘That’s why I went to see George today, allright? Because at least getting out of bed and walking stopped the memories, even for just a few hours.’
Florence nodded. ‘I wish you’d just told me that in the beginning,’ she said. ‘Because I know all about trying to outrun memories.’
Ava turned back to her tea-making, needing something to do with her hands, her head pounding even more after arguing with Florence.
When she turned back, teapot in hand, Florence was gone, but Grandma Ivy was walking into the kitchen.
‘What are you doing out of bed, dear?’
‘Just stretching my legs,’ Ava replied. ‘Fancy a cup of tea?’
The old lady’s eyes sparkled. ‘I’ve always got time for a cuppa.’
So Ava sat at the table, pouring them both a cup and listening to the latest neighbourhood gossip, hearing the front door shut with a bang as Florence left for her shift without bothering to say goodbye.
Later that day, Ava did something she’d been avoiding for months. She stood outside the door to her family’s townhouse, breathing deeply before taking out her key to unlock it. She had the strangest sensation that she should knock, but she knew that was stupid. It was her home, and despite being kicked out, she wasn’t going to behave like a stranger.
‘Ava?’ her mother called out the moment she stepped into the hallway. ‘Ava, is that you?’
‘Hello, Mother,’ she called back.
