Page 15 of The Berlin Sisters
‘But it worked,’ Herr Goldman said. ‘We were so frightened, but we had no choice other than to believe in your father. Without him, we would have rotted in our apartment, or been found and beaten to death.’
‘They ran and hid when he let them go, in a building Papa had told them was empty,’ Hanna said. ‘He went back to find them that night and collected them.’
‘And brought them here?’ Ava asked.
‘To an empty house not so far from here,’ Hanna replied. ‘But it wasn’t long before we had to move them, and eventually, our onlyoption was to come here. The crows were circling, and it would have only been so long before they were discovered by someone.’
‘But why couldn’t they leave Germany? Why could you not find a way to get them passage to America, or somewhere else far away, rather than bring danger into our home?’
‘By the time we had them all out of the city, there was no safe way for them to emigrate. If they’d been caught—’
‘We’d be dead,’ Eliana said. ‘Or worse.’
‘We should have gone years ago, when so many of our friends left. My cousin sent us letter after letter, telling us to follow him to England, warning us of what was to come, that we would be blamed for everything that was wrong in Germany.’ Herr Goldman wiped at his eyes. ‘But I didn’t believe him. I never believed that this madness would ever be allowed to come to fruition.’
Ava watched as her sister went to Eliana, opening her arms and folding her against her body. They stayed like that for a long moment, and Ava waged a fight within herself as she saw the warm, tender way in which Hanna treated Ava’s old friend, eventually turning away so she didn’t have to see it.
Besides, Ava didn’t want to look back at the Goldmans again, the discomfort of their situation not something she wanted to witness. So instead, she went back down the ladder, taking a moment to catch her breath, to come to terms with everything she’d heard, before slowly walking to her bedroom and sitting down on the bed. She only looked up when Hanna came to the door, her arms wrapped around herself as she stood, barefoot, in her nightdress.
‘You knew, all this time,’ Ava whispered. ‘You knew and you chose not to tell me what was going on in our home?’
Hanna’s silence told Ava that she was right.
They’d treated her as if she were a child, not privy to their discussions or decisions, to the secrets they’d chosen to keep. To theeffect it could have on her if someone else discovered what they’d done.
‘I don’t know you the way I used to, Ava,’ Hanna eventually said, coming to sit beside her on the bed, her voice low. ‘We used to be so close, but I honestly didn’t know if you’d agree with our decision, if you’d have the same sympathies as—’
‘Agree? Of course I wouldn’t have agreed to this! Are you actually mad? If someone came here, if someone discovered—’
Hanna lifted her finger to her lips, shaking her head. ‘Keep your voice to a whisper.’ She sighed. ‘Have you truly never wondered what happened to Dr Goldstein? Or our grocer, Herr Lewinsky? Our schoolteachers? Did you even notice that the people who used to be part of our lives suddenly disappeared as if they’d never existed in the first place?’
Anger rose within Ava, and she felt as though she might be sick right there on the carpet as Hanna spoke to her as if she was somehow the one in the wrong. Heat rose to her face, fuelling her nausea.
‘Did you truly never wonder what had happened to the Goldmans?’ Hanna whispered. ‘After all this time, after their home was abandoned and their shop windows were smashed? After all those years living in the same apartment block as them?’
‘No,’ Ava answered truthfully, still whispering. ‘No, Hanna, I never once thought about what happened to them. But if you’d asked me, I’d have told you that they moved on with all the others.’ Guilt crept over her skin and made her shiver as she said the words. They were just like all the other Jewish families, families that she knew she was never to speak of or to think about again.
Why did I never wonder? Why did I never think about where they’d gone or what their fate was? Should I have?
‘You didn’t listen to your beloved Goebbels scream to the crowd at the Sportpalast and secretly think he was a madman?’ Hannaasked. ‘Were you truly so gullible when he claimed that Judaism was a contagious infection? Did you actually believe his lies?’
Ava glared back at her sister. ‘You’re asking if I was the one person in the crowd who disagreed with him?’ she whispered. ‘As if I’m somehow wrong to believe what everyone else believes! We are not supposed to question our Führer, Hanna, and Goebbels was simply spreading his message. We aresupposedto follow the rules! You’re acting as if I’ve done something wrong, when all I’ve ever done is try to be the perfect German girl, just as I was told to be!’
‘What happened to my fiercely determined little sister, the one who could beat me at every game and who read so many books she knew more about the world than any of us? Did she truly lose herself so entirely that she never thought about anyone other than herself? Did she not use that knowledge she’d gathered and question what she was being told?’
Ava smarted. ‘That girl grew into a woman who knew what was expected of her! Look at Sophie Scholl. If she’d only kept quiet, if she had just kept her head down, she’d still be alive,’ she hissed. ‘It’s not worth the risk! We shall all be arrested for treason if we’re discovered!’
If only you’d seen the photos, Hanna. If only you’d seen with your own eyes the things they do to people who don’t obey them.
‘And if we do nothing, then the blood of thousands, millions even, will be on our hands.’
Silence sat between them until their father came to the door and beckoned for her.
‘Ava, would you join me in my study, please?’
She rose, not making eye contact with her sister as she followed her father downstairs. ‘After you,’ he said, ushering her into his study, a room that she rarely set foot in. One entire wall was adorned with dark-stained oak shelves, filled with endless books, and two leather chairs sat in the middle of the room, facing hisdesk. Hung behind it was a large, framed photo of him standing with Hitler, shaking hands, and Ava found herself staring at it, as her father busied himself with pouring a drink. He was in comfortable clothes now, and she found he looked so different at home to the man he presented himself as in his perfectly tailored uniform.
She was surprised when he returned with not one but two glasses, with brandy in the bottom of each. Hers was short, and his was a much larger pour, and she watched as he took a sip, indicating that she should do the same. Ava lifted the glass and let the amber liquid touch her lips. The tiniest of sips sent a burning fire down her throat to her stomach, a feeling she wasn’t entirely certain she liked, and it took all her willpower to stop from coughing.
