Page 17 of The Berlin Sisters
He didn’t say anything, he just returned her gaze, as steady as an owl as she began to cry.
‘What if that had been me, Papa? What if someone had done that to me, and I was taken? Could you have lived with yourself if it were me in her shoes?’
Ava stood up, torn between wanting to please her papa and believing that what he’d done was wrong. But instead of storming from his study, she stayed there as he rose and took a step towards her, kept her chin lifted, not prepared to back down until he gave her an answer.
Her father lifted his hand and placed it against her cheek. ‘Ava, you have a choice to make, and no one else can make that decision for you. There are risks, and at times they will be great, but there are times in life that our individual risk is outweighed by a greater good. You are also in the privileged position of being my daughter, which means you will always be the last person anyone suspects of wrongdoing. Our family is greatly respected by the party, by Joseph Goebbels himself.’
She swallowed, fighting the urge to lean into his palm, wanting him to know that none of this sat comfortably with her, that she couldn’t simply agree to what he was asking. Ava had bitten down hard on her bottom lip, listening to him, knowing that he was right even though she didn’t want to admit it.
‘But if you were to guess, about what happened to Lina,’ she pressed. ‘I want to know what one should expect, in that situation. If one were to be caught doing these things that you’re asking of me.’
He cleared his throat. ‘Your friend will have been taken for questioning by the SS. I would say that they used force to make her talk, that they would have only given up when they’d exhausted all options available to them.’
‘And then?’ Her voice was so low it was barely audible. She knew her father’s role in the SS, knew that he was likely the one who had ordered Lina’s interrogation, as much as she didn’t want to admit it.
‘There is a small chance she would be able to return to her family, if they believed she was telling the truth. But there is also a chance that her entire family could now be suspected of being traitors. They may have all been deported.’
Ava didn’t need to hear any more; she knew from what he wasn’t telling her what the alternative would be, what could happen to her friend.
‘What you’re asking of me, what you want me to do...’
He leaned forward and pressed a warm kiss to the top of her head. ‘All I ask is that you consider what I’ve told you tonight,’ he said.
‘And what of Heinrich,’ she said. ‘Is he part of this?’ Was he also keeping this a secret from her?
Her father’s expression darkened then, as if storm clouds had settled between them.
‘Ava, you must never mention this to Heinrich,’ he said, reminding her immediately of the formidable SS man she saw him being in the office. ‘He must never know of what we’ve done, or what we’re planning to do. Even a whisper that made its way to him, the slightest seed of doubt planted in his mind about me, you or our family...’
‘I understand.’ Ava would be too afraid to confide in her fiancé, anyway.
He patted her shoulder, affectionately, his anger disappearing as quickly as it had appeared, and Ava stepped out of his study, walking down the hall and going up to her bedroom. She was surprised to find Hanna lying there waiting for her, and she lifted the covers to let Ava in, cuddling into her for warmth as they’d done as children, Hanna’s anger clearly forgotten.
‘I don’t know if I’m as brave as you or Mama,’ Ava whispered. ‘I don’t know if I can do what Papa has asked of me.’
Hanna hugged her close.
‘There is truly no such thing as a peaceful relocation?’ Ava whispered into the dark. ‘The Jews aren’t taken somewhere to live their lives together?’
‘No, Ava, there is no such thing.’
She sat up bolt upright then, pushing the covers off her and striding over to the framed portrait of Adolf Hitler that she had on her wall. Ava took it boldly from the hook, turning it around so that he was no longer facing the room, leaning the frame against the wall on the floor.
She knew she would have to rehang it before she left, before their maid Zelda came back into the house, but for now her small act of defiance sent a little thrill through her body. And when she crawled back into bed, as she wrapped her arms around her sister once more, she refused to whisper the wordsHeil Hitlerthat she’d so faithfully said for the past few years at every opportunity.
At home, those two little words would never pass her lips. Not now, not after everything she’d come to understand.How could I? When everything I’ve come to believe in has been proven to be a lie?
‘Hanna, is there anything else you’re doing that I should know about?’
Hanna squeezed her hand beneath the covers, and she waited such a long time before speaking that Ava thought she wasn’t going to answer. ‘I’ve been smuggling Jewish children out of Berlin in an ambulance,’ she whispered.
Ava shut her eyes tight as she digested her sister’s words, as she understood the risks Hanna had been taking for others.
‘Ava, these children are no different than any other child. The things that are happening to them, the way they’re being treated, it’s not something I can stand by and accept. Smuggling them out is often the only way to keep them alive, and if I can spare one parent the agony of losing a child? Then I’m willing to do whatever it takes.’
Ava blinked away tears, squeezing her eyes shut, the depth of her sister’s confession heavy in her heart. Her brave, fearless sister.
‘I’ll keep the Goldmans’ secret,’ Ava whispered, tightening her hold on Hanna’s hand. ‘I would never betray you and Mama and Papa.Never.’
