Page 20 of The Berlin Sisters
Would she have even understood what she’d read a few days ago? A week ago? A year ago? Would she have understood what the wordAuschwitzmeant, and been able to comprehend what was happening there? If she’d had any doubts about her decision, about what she’d agreed to do, or what her family had tried to tell her, she certainly didn’t now.
She dabbed at her face, as she’d done only moments earlier, to remove the sheen from it. She was doing a good job of appearing to be unwell. So much for thinking she was ready to mask her deceit – she was going to have to learn not to react, no matter how horrible her work was.
‘Ava, I think you should—’
But before Greta had time to finish her sentence, the Goebbels children unexpectedly arrived, and Ava was on her feet with the others to greet them. Magda was as polished and beautiful as ever, but today she only had two of the children with her – the two youngest, who waved to all the secretaries.
‘Your husband is still in his meeting, Frau Goebbels,’ one of the secretaries said. ‘Would you like me to make you a coffee while you wait, or fetch something for the children?’
Magda nodded her thanks, before turning to all the women and beginning to make small talk, at the same time as Hedwig and Heidrun came running over to Ava. She wished she had sweets for them, because they were always so polite, and today, without their older siblings, they seemed even more confident.
‘Can you teach us how to use it?’ Hedwig said of her typewriter, smiling shyly.
‘Can I pretend I’m a secretary?’ Heidrun asked.
‘Of course!’ Ava said brightly, careful to cover the file she’d been working on and deciding to slip it into one of her drawers, in case they were to knock it over. ‘Shall I show you how to feed the paper into it?’
‘Yes!’ they both squealed, earning them a sharp rebuke from their mother.
But Ava didn’t mind; she was only too happy to be distracted from her work for a moment. No one would dare reprimand her for taking time to play with the children, and it at least gave her time to think about something her sister had said, gave her a moment to breathe and calm herself down.
What was it she said, about all children being equal?Now that she knew what was truly happening, that their father was a monster due to what he was orchestrating, it didn’t mean that the children were monsters. They were yet to grow and understand the world.They were simply living their childhood, and because of that she couldn’t be anything other than kind to them.
And as Heidrun climbed on to her knee and proudly began to tap at the keys, tears pricked Ava’s eyes, for she couldn’t comprehend how these children could be treated with such reverence, and yet elsewhere children were being killed, seemingly without a second thought.
The children are sent with their mother. We find they go more willingly than when we separate them.
Those were words from the Final Solution file that she’d just read and would never forget, and even thinking them made it almost impossible to breathe, with bile rising inside of her every time she closed her eyes and imagined their screams.
‘Leave Ava to do her work now,’ Magda said, as if she’d only just noticed that her children were climbing all over her. ‘Your papa won’t like it if you stop everyone from working.’
‘But Mama, it’s so fun!’ Heidrun said, bouncing on Ava’s knee as she tapped on the keys, her little fingers tiny against the machine.
‘It’s always such a pleasure to see them. I don’t mind at all,’ Ava said.
Magda Goebbels placed a hand on the desk, smiling warmly at her. ‘I’m very much looking forward to visiting your country house soon, Ava. Your mother is always such a wonderful hostess.’
Ava was pleased her father had warned her – if not, she’d have wondered what on earth Magda was talking about. But even the mention of her home made her pulse race.
‘I’m certain my mother’s already busy preparing what will be served. It’s such an honour for her to host you all.’
‘Come on, children. It was lovely to see you, Ava. I’ll be certain to tell your mother how kind you were to the girls.’
Ava smiled, forcing herself to hold it, to appear as if her entire world wasn’t falling apart, as if she wasn’t thinking about the factthat so many party members,high-ranking party members, would be at her home in just a few weeks’ time, only two floors beneath a Jewish family who would be sworn to silence for the entire evening.
Ava’s heart thundered in her chest, her resolve strengthening by the minute. She would protect the Goldmans’ secret, their very existence, as fiercely as if they were her own family. Now that she knew the truth, she could be a coward no longer.
Even if it meant risking her own life for the cause.
Chapter Eight
HANNA
‘Let’s pray for another miracle.’
Hanna settled into her seat a week after Christmas, thankful to have Dieter with her to transport the children. They’d formed an unlikely friendship through working together, and although she was most often working at the hospital as a nurse, they’d been paired together more and more to work in the aftermath of the bombings, when a triage nurse was sent out with an ambulance driver. They were often able to work without talking, understanding what the other needed, and although many of her fellow nurses found Dieter to be overly gruff, she had always appreciated his quiet, practical manner. There was no hint of anything romantic between them, just a deep-founded respect for the work they were doing, and he’d come to be like the older brother she’d never had.
They’d also both experienced deep loss attributed to the war, which gave them common ground, and it was the reason they were both risking their lives to help Jewish children – neither of them felt as if they had anything to lose. With anyone else, that might have felt like a reckless attitude, but they were both determined to save as many children as they could, while they still could.
