Page 27 of The Berlin Sisters
Hanna held her breath, seeing the pain etched on her father’s face as he coughed, his hand rising to his chest, but Ava’s quick laughter captured the men’s attention, and Hanna had never been so grateful for her sister. She glanced at her father, seeing that Ava’s distraction had given him time to right himself. Ava hadn’t been lying when she’d said she could handle their guests.
As Hanna walked away, she heard murmurs about her beauty from the women gathered, about what a waste it was that she hadn’t had children yet, that she was having to work such long hours. But when she reached the door leading to the kitchen, she turned, not to look at the women talking about her, but at Goebbels. She had a feeling he was watching her, that his eyes had followed her, but when she saw him he had his back to her, speaking to the groupof men who seemed enraptured by whatever tale he was telling.It’s my mind playing tricks on me, he doesn’t know at all. He doesn’t know what he took from me, and there’s no way he can know about my father.
Hanna turned and kept walking, finding Zelda in the kitchen, surrounded by food. It was all she could do not to collapse right there, her legs wobbling from her earlier subterfuge.
‘Hanna, are you feeling all right?’ Zelda asked, stopping what she was doing.
Hanna nodded. ‘So long as you don’t tell me to go back out there, I’ll be fine. I just need a moment away from it all.’ She closed her eyes for a second, gripping the edge of the kitchen counter.
‘Hanna—’
‘I’m fine, or at least I will be. Let me prepare something for you to take home tonight,’ she said, opening her eyes and fixing her smile again, her moment already over. ‘This is far too much food for one dinner party, and I dare say that no one out there will be interested in taking leftovers home with them.’
Zelda moved around the kitchen and looked into Hanna’s eyes, taking her hand for a moment. They had an unspoken understanding between them, both having loved and lost during the war.
‘Take your time, it’s nice to have some company in the kitchen.’
‘Thank you for understanding,’ she said, squeezing Zelda’s hand.
They both wiped their eyes and Hanna surveyed the feast once more. ‘I shall start putting everything on the table while you finish here. This is a meal fit for a king.’ But it wasn’t just the food she had to prepare – if she were to sit at the table, she was to be charming and demure, to model what an excellent daughter her father had raised, which was always the best way to elevate one’s status within the party. Which also meant she was going to have to pretend to be interested in at least one of the sons who’d been mentioned to her,for she knew it wouldn’t take long before the subject of courtship or marriage was brought up again.
Thankfully, the women present were busy talking about their own children over dinner, and Hanna found herself listening intently to Magda Goebbels telling them all about how one of her daughters had recently joined the Jungmädelbund, and how gorgeous she looked in her little uniform. It only made Hanna’s smile harder to hold, because it brought back memories of when she was first accepted into her local group, and the humiliating exercise of having to take off her clothes and lie very still while an old male Nazi doctor inspected her. All she remembered being told that day was to stay very still when she tried to squirm, and then eventually she was told that she was a very special girl. At that time, she hadn’t known what they were trying to tell her; it was only later that she realised they were referring to her as being the very best of breeding stock. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed, healthy-looking girls were always the ones that left the doctor’s room with sweet treats in their pockets as their reward.
Hanna forced her memories from her mind and smiled along with the other women, trying ever so hard to swallow her mouthful of food instead of spitting it out on to the table in disgust.
Once the evening was over, and she’d stood beside her mother and father and bade everyone goodnight, Hanna felt as if she could collapse.
‘Great show tonight,’ her mother whispered, kicking off her shoes and massaging her feet. ‘Please tell me I won’t have to host another glittering evening for a few months now though, Karl?’
‘That, my love, is a promise I cannot make.’
Hanna watched as her father pressed a kiss to her mother’s forehead as he passed. She knew he was struggling – both with his health and his dedication to the cause – and evenings like this were his worst nightmare as much as they were hers.
‘You’re feeling all right now?’ her mother asked him.
‘I’m fine. Nothing to worry about, not with Hanna looking after me.’
Her mother sighed, but didn’t stop Hanna’s father from walking away, heading straight to his office.
‘Did you make certain that Zelda had food to take home?’ Her mother’s attention was on her now.
Hanna nodded. ‘I did. She had plenty.’
‘Good.’ Her mother sighed. ‘Ava, could you prepare the leftovers to take upstairs?’
Hanna and her mother walked around the house as Ava went into the kitchen, checking each door and double-checking the drapes were pulled tight, before carefully putting together plates for the Goldmans. They’d become a good team, and Hanna had seen more and more over the past months how similar they were. Her mother was also the only person she could talk to about her loss, about how much she struggled at times, which had brought them even closer.
All three women made their way upstairs, and Hanna set the plates on the ground so she could pull down the attic stairs. Soon the light from one of the oil lamps shone down, and Hanna called up to the family.
‘You can come down and stretch your legs now,’ she said. ‘Everyone has gone.’
Eliana appeared first, helping her mother down after her, followed by David and then his father. They all blinked at her, their eyes adjusting to the light in the house. She’d told them not to make a sound or have so much as a lamp going from the momentthe first guest arrived, so she knew it must have been a very long, very dark evening for them up until then.
‘We have beef, some roast goose, potatoes, carrots and fresh bread,’ Hanna said, surprised when Ava turned and walked away, but deciding to let her go. ‘Oh, and some chocolates.’
‘This looks amazing,’ Eliana said, but Hanna noticed she was looking at Ava’s retreating figure.
‘I’m only sorry you had to wait so long for it,’ Hanna said brightly. ‘I can tell you it tastes excellent.’
