Page 17 of The Pianist's Wife
‘Everyone has lost weight, it’s nothing, and I’m coping as well as can be,’ she eventually said instead, trying to sound bright and taking the baby from her as he began to stir. Amira carried him around the room, hushing him and rocking him back to sleep, determined to change the subject. ‘You, on the other hand, I can’t believe you haveanotherbaby.’ In truth, she wasn’t coping at all. It had been two months since she’d heard from Maxi, and four weeks since he’d officially been reported missing, and some days the worry made it almost impossible to breathe.
‘Well, there’ll be no more after this one! I intend on telling Hans that he will need to stay away from me from now on. It will be separate beds before he knows it.’
They both laughed. ‘It’s wonderful though. I’m so proud of you. You’re an amazing mother.’
Amira stared down at the baby in her arms, wondering whether she too would have been a mother by now if things were different. But she knew instinctively that she would have been. She would have been a teacher until she married, and she would have had a baby just as soon as she could have. She blinked away tears as she rocked the baby, not wanting Gisele to see how emotional she’d become.
When she circled back around to Gisele, she noticed a little booklet sitting on the bedside table. She passed him back to his mother.
‘What’s this?’ she asked, absently picking it up. ‘Instructions for looking after the baby?’
Gisele raised her eyebrows. ‘I could raise this one in my sleep. Besides, there’s no instruction manual for babies, silly.’ She paused and indicated that Amira should sit beside her on the bed. ‘It just so happens that it’s information about the Mother’s Cross of Honouraward.’ Amira couldn’t help but notice that Gisele’s cheeks had turned a darker shade of pink again as she spoke. ‘I’ve been nominated to receive a bronze award.’
‘The award for women having huge numbers of babies from the Führer?’ Amira asked.
‘Apparently having four children for the Reich is worthy of recognition.’
She nodded, not sure if Gisele was telling her in order to receive praise, or if she was as horrified by it as Amira was. ‘Well, I suppose congratulations are in order then.’
Gisele swatted at her. ‘Oh, stop it! It’s nothing to be congratulating me for,’ she whispered. ‘And I certainly don’t want congratulations from you.’
‘Well, you have made a lot of babies,’ Amira teased, relieved by her friend’s response. ‘I actually do believe you deserve a medal, just not this particular one.’
‘I’d rather like my husband to give me a big gold medal, or perhaps just a gift for all the sons I’ve bestowed upon him.’
They both laughed again, and Amira opened up the booklet as Gisele began to feed the baby. It felt good to laugh after so many months of sadness – she could barely remember the last time she’d even smiled.
‘When do you receive the award?’ Amira asked.
‘It’s on Mother’s Day, so the second Sunday in May. I’m purposely not telling my mother so she can’t come, but I would selfishly like you to be there just so we can laugh about it together afterwards.’
Amira looked up at her friend, seeing the pleading look in her gaze. She knew how uncomfortable something like this would make Gisele. ‘If you want me to come, then I’ll come. I know you’d do it for me if the situation were reversed.’
‘I hate all this, you know,’ Gisele said with a sigh. ‘I’m so proud of my children and I love being a mother, but I don’t want this.’
‘I know,’ Amira said, relieved to know that her friend hadn’t changed.
Amira ran her eyes over the information in the booklet, settling back as she read it.
‘They truly just want German women to become baby-making machines,’ she muttered. ‘But look, if you have enough babies you might get to have tea with the Führer. Apparently that would be a reward for your dedication.’
Gisele just rolled her eyes when she looked back at her.
‘I thought you would have got to the part by now about me being treated like royalty when I’m out running errands or shopping,’ Gisele said. ‘No more waiting in line at the butcher’s or at the grocery store. I even get the best seats on the bus for my mothering efforts, I shall have you know.’
It was Amira rolling her eyes now, and she was pleased they were making light of it, because otherwise she would have been sick to the stomach. ‘Well, congratulations then. Shall I start calling you Queen Gisele? Or will Mother Gisele suffice?’
There was a noise outside the room, and Gisele touched her arm. ‘All jokes aside, we need to be careful. The midwives and doctors take all this very seriously.’
Amira held up the booklet, pointing to the page she was reading. ‘It says here that you qualify to receive a helper or a nurse in the home now.’
‘I can’t say I mind. It’s busy with four.’
‘Gisele, it clearly states that a helper will be allocated or that a mother can choose her own helper, if she already knows of someone suitable or if someone is already in her employ. This person is supposed to arrive first thing in the morning, and assist with the raising of children throughout the day, or they may live in thehouse.’ She turned to her. ‘Gisele, I could do this. I could be your helper! It would solve my problem of not having employment, and we both know that Hans would never think to ask for my papers.’
Gisele’s eyes widened. ‘You could live with us too,’ she said. ‘Hans would be thrilled, because you’d be helping me and keeping me company while he’s away. It would stop him from worrying so much.’
‘You wouldn’t mind?’ Amira asked. ‘You would truly be happy for me to work for you?’ She would have to give up her job volunteering at the orphanage, but that time had come anyway. Without paid employment, there was no way she was going to be able to keep a roof over her head or buy groceries.
