Page 38 of The Pianist's Wife
She looked up at him. ‘Where did they go?’
‘Nobody knows. They just disappeared so they didn’t have to fight again,’ he said. ‘I keep thinking that we could do that. We could disappear together.’
‘If only it were that easy.’ She imagined that he wanted to fantasise about it with her, but it wasn’t something she even wanted to indulgein thoughts of. There was no way they could ever disappear – they’d be caught and deported, she had no doubt about that.
‘Come to bed,’ she said, standing and holding out her hand to him. ‘I promise you’ll be able to sleep soundly in my arms.’
But the way he looked at her, as his hand slipped into hers and he stood beside her, wasn’t the look of a man who wanted to go to sleep. He stepped closer and leaned down, raising his palm to her face, cupping her cheek and gently rubbing his thumb against her skin as he lowered his lips to hers. Maxi’s kiss stole her breath, and she found herself pressed against him as his arms circled her, and he pulled her soft body to his and claimed her mouth.
Maxi kissed her with an urgency that she understood, because she knew as well as he that their time together was finite. At any moment the air raid sirens could sound out, and when he left again to return to the Front, there was no promise that he would survive until next time.
‘Climb into bed,’ she whispered, holding out her hand to him.
Much to her delight, Maxi didn’t need to be asked twice.
When Amira woke in the early hours, Maxi was sound asleep, tucked beneath the covers and sleeping like a child. She lay there and watched him in the dark, once her eyes had adjusted, and she wondered how long it had been since he’d been able to sleep like that; peacefully, without worrying what might happen while his eyes were shut. Was it one of the last nights they’d had together, or had there been times before his injuries when he’d been able to slumber while he was away?
She reached out and gently traced her thumb across his forehead and down his cheek, wanting to commit every inch of him to memory before he left. But missing him wasn’t the only thingcircling her mind; she couldn’t stop wondering what would happen after, when she was faced with the very real decision to tell him the truth about her past. Because as much as she adored him, and as much as she knew that he loved her, she didn’t know whether he’d still love her once he found out, and it wasn’t a part of her she intended on hiding if the Allies won the war. She didn’t want to keep that part of her hidden, not if she didn’t have to.
‘Is anything the matter?’ Maxi whispered, his eyes seeking out hers as she stared at his face.
‘Everything is fine,’ she whispered back, blinking away tears, grateful for the darkness.For now, at least.‘Go back to sleep.’
She shut her own eyes, cocooned in Maxi’s arms, his warm breath on her shoulder and her long hair loose and splayed over his arm, as she told herself to just sleep, and worry about the rest once he was gone.
Chapter Sixteen
‘I can’t believe we only have one more day left together,’ Amira said, as they went for a walk, Maxi in his uniform as she strolled beside him, but with enough distance not to draw attention and keep with their cover story. ‘Your leave has gone by so fast.’ She’d taken a big risk in spending time with Maxi, but she’d been careful not to stay the night with him, returning to her flat to ensure she didn’t raise any suspicions if someone did see her.
Maxi didn’t reply, and she wished they were at home or somewhere else private, so she could hold his hand.
‘Maxi? Is everything alright?’
‘I can’t help wishing I’d been more assertive before I left the last time,’ he said, as their eyes met. ‘I can see now that I should have pleaded for a later date to ship out so that we could have married, or insisted that we married before, when your father was still alive.’
‘When my father was alive, he was adamant that I wasn’t to marry, not until after the war, and I had to respect his wishes,’ she said firmly.
Maxi didn’t say anything, and she hoped that he’d already tired of the conversation.
‘I could have challenged him though, and then we wouldn’t be in this situation, because I don’t believe that this man of yours doesn’t have feelings for you.’
Amira felt torn between protecting Fred and not breaking Maxi’s heart, but no matter how much she loved him, her loyalty had to be to Fred. She just had to find a way to convince Maxi without divulging their secret. ‘Maxi, I would have never disobeyed my father, and how many times do I have to tell you that Fred doesn’t have feelings for me? Just as I don’t have feelings for him!’
‘Well, I’m not happy about leaving you with another man, regardless of your declaration of it being a celibate marriage,’ he grumbled. ‘I could be gone for a long time.’
Amira decided not to challenge him on the topic anymore, exhausted from having to talk around the truth, but their attention was immediately diverted when they rounded a corner and saw hanging from a sign, a rope around his neck, a man wearing a suit. He had a piece of cardboard pinned to his chest that read ‘Feigling’.Coward.
‘Amira, turn away,’ Maxi instructed, holding his hand up to shield her eyes, even though she’d already well and truly seen what was there.
That could have been you, Maxi, if you’d married me and been found out. Only your sign would have read ‘Traitor’.
‘I’d like to go home now,’ she said, in a hushed voice as they hurried away, the vision of the hanged man impossible to remove from her mind.
Maxi only looked at her, recoiling at her mention of home, which of course meant home to Fred. But no matter what Maxi wished he’d done, the truth was that Fred was here, in Berlin, and Maxi was not. Which meant that if her decision was based purely upon her safety, then she’d done precisely what her father would have wanted her to do to keep herself alive in his absence.
The hairs on the back of her neck raised then, and she turned to see two men watching them. They were wearing civilian clothes, but she knew better than to let that fool her.
‘Maxi, I’m suddenly not feeling so well. Please, let’s hurry back,’ she said.
