Page 55 of The Pianist's Wife
‘When Fred’s home he can barely keep his hands off me,’ she said, hoping her red cheeks only added to her authenticity. ‘He barely has time to play the piano.’
They all laughed as if it were the funniest thing they’d ever heard, before Mathilde cleared her throat.
‘And when will we all be hearing your delightful husband perform again?’
‘Ah, well,’ Amira said, smiling brightly before looking back up, feeling like a mouse about to be caught by the cat. She knew how foolish she’d been to ever think these women could be friends enough to want to help her. ‘Soon, I hope. I know he’s spent many hours rehearsing for his next concert.’
‘Now I heard you’re a close friend of Gisele’s?’ another woman said, giving Amira a moment to breathe from answering questions about Fred. ‘I’m surprised she hasn’t introduced us before?’
‘Gisele is a very dear friend, but I’m only newly married and she is so busy with all her beautiful children,’ Amira said.
When Mathilde told them that Amira was expecting, they all made such a fuss that Amira’s skin began to crawl.If only they knew they’re rubbing shoulders with a Mischling.
But at the same time, she suddenly turned her mind to when she’d last had her monthly courses. Shehadbeen feeling nauseous, but she’d put that down to a gnawing fear in her belly from worrying about Fred.
I couldn’t be, could I?
The next morning, there was a knock at the door, and Amira crossed the sitting room to answer it, terrified about who would be calling so early. She’d barely slept the night before, tossing and turning in bed as she thought about the child growing inside of her, knowing without a doubt that she was pregnant. The nausea, the tenderness of her breasts, the time it had been since she’d last bled – there was no other explanation.
She took a deep breath, fearful, yet knowing that if the Gestapo were waiting for her, they would have likely kicked the door in rather than knock politely. She’d been expecting them ever since Gisele had confessed her secret to Hans.
‘Hans?’ She took a step back, nervous as he stared coldly at her. ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’ She ran her thumb over her left wrist, hoping that he wasn’t about to arrest her, that he hadn’t come to her home to take her away. She could almost imagine what the handcuffs would feel like.
‘May I come in?’
‘Yes,’ she found herself saying, her nerves setting her teeth to rattling. If he hadn’t come to arrest her, had he come to tell her toflee? To warn her of what was to come? ‘Coffee?’ she asked, her voice catching in her throat and coming out as a whisper.
‘Please.’
She ushered him in and closed the door behind him, showing him through the house, but he stopped at the piano and exhaled sharply.
‘Amira, I’d like to apologise for the part I played in Fred’s capture,’ he said. ‘If I’d known the charges, if I’d realised the severity of what they were going to question him about...’
Amira nodded and pointed him towards the kitchen table, where he sat, still in his heavy jacket, his eyes looking dark and his skin sallow.
‘Hans, please just let me go. Let me flee Berlin, let me try to hide myself.’
He looked up, and she noticed how bleary his eyes were, as if he hadn’t slept.
‘If you let me go you’ll never hear from me again. I’ll stay away from Gisele, I’ll—’
‘I’m not going to tell anyone your secret, Amira.’
She froze, staring back at him, her breath ragged. ‘You’re not?’
‘Gisele would never forgive me if I did.’
Amira nodded, not sure what to say.
Hans gave her a look that indicated he knew precisely how much it meant to her, but didn’t say anything, and she had the distinct feeling that they were playing a game of cat and mouse.
‘You know, our marriage did start as one of convenience, but after Maxi died...’ She looked up at Hans, knowing that she had to give him the performance of her life. ‘I love him, Hans.’
‘Well, I can’t imagine what it must be like for you. Are you nervous being alone here in the apartment?’
‘It’s been difficult, but I’m lucky to have this little man to keep me company,’ she said, stroking Otto’s fur.
‘I see. My children are certainly very fond of him.’
